My W was looking to be "saved." Her credit was in a shambles and creditors were calling her daily. Her health was bad, and I was offering no support. She was depressed and borderline manic. She had spent the last several years on weight loss meds. Med's that she was only supposed to use for a month or so. I believe they made her crazy. She was suffering from intense mood swings, depression and host of other personality problems. I'd spent thousands on plastic surgery for her and the newness of being suddenly very attractive sent her off the deep end. Those factors, an inability to be responsible and utter selfishness, led her (I believe) to believe that she had no choices left.
Were you shocked?
About her lesbianism? or her leaving? Sure I was shocked. But only because I was facing the dissolution of my dreams for a happy home/marriage/etc..
Do you think its different than dealing with OM?
Yes and no. I believe lesbians will work harder at relationships then men will. I could be stepping on some toes here, but they aren’t exactly working with all the parts (if you know what I mean), so the establishment of a more mental relationship is critical. If we (as men) understood this a little more, our relationships with women would be a little more solid.
You mentioned the sudden intense emotional bond that seemed to develop and that seems to be a theme a couple of us guys noticed in our sitch's. I often felt at a disadvantage not being able to communicate on that level and feeling I probably never could. Maybe it's all in my head, who knows.
Maybe that’s true. Think about all the times you had sex w/your W, finished and went too sleep. Do you think lesbians do that?
As for communication, I believe its possible. We have to learn to trust, give unconditional love, and be vulnerable. And isn't that what most people want?
