Is your S's OM a W? Let's talk

[MTHeart]

you are SOOOOOOO right about the "spending time together like a real couple" thing. That's part of the alure. It's fantasy. No bills, kids, dogs, things, to get in the way. Just fantasy! "OOOOOOhhhhhhhh we're so in LOVE. OOOOOOOOhhhhhhh we understand each other soooooooo wellllllll. oooooohhhhhh I never felt this way before...." Except when you fell in love ith your spouse but your memory doesn't reach that far back.

The Meth analogy is totally right. Plumbing doesn't have anything to do with it. But I feel for you guys. It makes me want to apologize for "my" people. But how did I get here? The same way you guys did:

Spouse (yes, lesbos, can you take it?) of 9 years started affair with "friend" and is INSANE. Although, as you described, somewhat responsible. But overall insane. We have a 7yr old daughter and spouse cannot bear to leave her. OW has TWO small children. Now, let's think this through (since our SOs are not able to) Does someone who has children of her own know how badly she could want stability and family for them? And should she be able to see that cheating and disrupting SOMEONE ELSES family is NOT the way to get that stability? SHOULD, a beautiful word, but of course it don't mean $h#^* here does it?

I think perhaps your pride as men gets hurt in this F/F situation. Not to be rude but you do get a social message that if you were "man" enough your spouse wouldn't cheat. I'm so sorry. I don't even seem to be "woman" enough. And I'm trying to retain my sanity and have been in this for 6 months. Feels like 6 years sometimes. But regardless of Male or Female or Canine, whatever. It's all the same. They are insane and until they come down off their dopamine high and see it's the same story just a different book nothing can change. GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU!!! The truth is a real man works at his relationship as you guys are doing!