I agree. My W's EA with the OW was very intense right from the beginning, and I mean before it was an A. She would ask me whether I thought it was weird that they seemed to have such a close bond, you know, could "read each others minds". I replied that I thought it must be a very special friendship to have those qualities. What a big jerk! Somehow, these two just plugged into each others vulnerable spots and it went from there. When the A actually started I have no idea but I believe it is less than a year. Six months ago when I told my W some things I had always wanted her to know she replied "this might have made a difference two months ago". Once that intense EA starts it seems all my W could see was my defecits (real and imagined) and she emotionally detached from me. All her emotional energy went into this new R, which was largely based on her needs, not the OW's. A difference I see (and maybe this is just my trip) is that I feel at a disadvantage in dislodging the OW. Women relate to each other in a different way then men relate to women. If what she wants in a R is the type of emotional closeness that another woman can provide than I really can't win! If she's willing to work on another way of connecting together then I can do that, but she's not there right now. Maybe its just my headspace that says I'm at a disadvantage, who knows. My W has always said she believes the m/f difference in communication is a load of crap meant to get us males off the hook. I disagree but whatisis! I also wonder, at least in my sitch, if I would be handling this far differently if this was another guy playing hide the sausage with my W? I can't help but think I'd be fighting the urge to hunt him down and kick his head in and not giving a f*** what that would do to my dbing situation. When it is another woman am I less threatened? Is that lack of a dick somehow significant? Am I able to think clearer somehow? Some guys say they are relieved when they find out it's another woman because they feel their masculinity is not as threatened. Anybody else with some input here? And Rockinnm, thanks for the acknowledgement. I'm glad my thoughts are help keeping you on the straight and narrow here! Sanity is a valuable commodity when you are dealing with a WAW cuz you'll be the only one that has any! Who knows what happened to hers, oh ya, the lesbians sucked it out of her skull,I forgot !
! 
