Corri, if you think for a moment that anyone in this thread was pulling down Chromo's shorts to laugh at him - that's quite a misreading and if not a misreading, an insult.
It's clear that he is in a lot of pain and hauling around a load of guilt. One emotional discretion can be an oopsie. Two can be a pattern. Whether something was a one-of or was a pattern will make a difference in how it is dealt with in counselling. For his own sake, he needs someone he's talking with to know the whole truth.
And while he may have been asking about a trip to NY, this whole thread has been about what can Chrome do to connect to his wife in a deeper, more fulfilling way.
The avenues to connect to your spouse are going to be *different* under different circumstances. It has nothing to do with whether or not any of the forum members "trust". If she is still unware and in a trusting mode then the method of connection is totally different.
If she knows or suspects, the tactics are going to be totally different than if she's unware. If she suspects or knows, then acting macho is going to be a slap in her face - not a beacon of attraction.
We aren't professionals, no one on here has claimed to be acting in that capacity. What we are is a group of people who take the time, uncompensated, to try to figure out what is going on in our relationships and to get a variety of input on what might help things improve.
If a woman came on the forum discussing their unhappiness over their spouses' stinginess with money, some details are more important than others. If she's gambling the money away, quitting her job, or spending thousands of dollars at the mall - then our advice is going to be very different and totally UNhelpful if that type of information is not divulged and we're left with the idea that he's just a stingybutt.
