Please, drop the drama. It has no benefit and it certainly doesn't move you forward. I asked only because I feel that it is very important that at least one person that you are counselling with knows the complete situation.
Advice based on partial truth or outright falsehoods doesn't do you any good.
From my viewpoint, you are asking advice from people while at the same time not being forthcoming AND asking us to ignore the pile of elephant poo that sits amongst us. I think you have shown a pattern of deception that contributes to unnecessary dramatic upheaval in your life, a flurry of mea culpas, and then business as usual. That doesn't make you evil or unredeemable (or fill in the blank of whatever expletive you may tend toward), it does perhaps take you beyond the scope of the forum.
I personally think that you need to work with someone who is apprised of the complete truth.
I think your current forum topics are possibly keeping you from examining and dealing with the issues that resulted in you lying to 3 women and this forum. Rather than moving past it, I think you should move *through* it. I can tell you that "moving past it and going forward" is the typical response.
You can't build intimacy and trust, when there is deception and withholding. The reality is that if this indiscretion had occurred 15 years ago, that you could perhaps "move past it". But it happened recently and it is impacting your relationship *now*.
I can't tell from what you have said whether or not your wife knows anything. You have hinted that she knows something. I think that is another one of the things that throws me off when corresponding with you, it's like we can't get a simple yes/no answer from you, there are only whiffs and hints and we're forced to read between the lines.
If your wife knows or suspects something, what are you doing to build trust? If your counselor is aware of everything and your wife does not know anything, what plan has the C given you to rebuild the relationship and what has been instituted to keep you accountable regarding your weakness?
:Edited to add this - Chrome, I have to deal with my own tendency to sugarcoat issues and avoid direct communication with those close to me. So, I didn't want you to feel/think that you were being labled with something unique - I deal with it too.
