Thanks for your thoughts. I do really appreciate the "counterpoint" you offer as far as "alpha male" behavior is concerned. It really helps me see this from different angles.
I have instituted the small things already. Whereas before I thought my W would be mad at me if I asked her to make popcorn for me while I watched a movie, I don't hesitate now. Of course, she is free to say no, and I don't take it personally (as much as I used to anyway, I'll probably still be working on that character flaw till I'm dead). As you say, its a small thing, but an important step in being more assertive. I shouldn't assume that she doesn't want to do things for me, and thus never ask.
The trip to NYC was something I did REALLY want to do, and not just because I thought it would help our R and help my W start breaking out of "mommy mode." I love the city, and I would love to experience being in the city and doing fun and interesting things with my W, instead of just with my research buddies. My W is a fun person to be around, when she wants to be.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
