Good stuff Burgbud

kindness is an effective survival strategy (inspiring mutual support) and philanthropy is a demonstration of fitness

Like I briefly said to Cobra, its the intent, your reason for the action that can make a philanthropic action appear magnanimous and confident, or come across as supplicating. Two different men could do the exact same thing, but how it is received from the W POV will be completely different.

When you deny your deep truth to please your woman...your own sense of authenticity will burden your capacity to act with clarity. Your actions won't jibe with your core.

This is brilliant. In one fell swoop he describes how to remove placating, and what incongruence looks like. Wow.

The man has to define his integrity for himself and the woman will respect it even if his living that integrity causes her discomfort.

Well said.

Cine
I do get your drift, on all points. I am picking at semantics, (and throughly enjoying this repartee with you) becasue I think the guys here already have 'good intentions'. What you see in your head, and what they see in thiers upon reading your words are pretty different I suspect.

In fact , most of my reply to your post can be summed up in Gmary's post....LOL .

it's Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow after whom I lust.

That is priceless. I know its true, but its despite the fact his personal definition of 'integrity' had nothing to do with your definition of morally correct. Because afterall if moral correctness was a desire inducing behavior, many of us wouldnt be on this BB. Haha..ahhh... ...I guess its not funny...

So Im going to work with semantics some more.

and for a common frame of reference I guess we can all think of Captain Jack Sparrow.


A man who is not willing to see others POV and give credence to others good ideas is just stubborn. Stubborness is not sexy.

True. But Determination, passion, drive to reach your goals is. A man swayed from his path with a little resistance is not attractive.

Using Cobra as an example. Is he stubbornly not listening to the ladies or is he determined to have a M where he has a voice, is acknowledged and gets his needs taken care too ---to the best of his ability? He is no quitter, despite the daunting obstacles.


A good leader does not continue to lead in a direction that is destructive to the people he is leading, no matter how dedicated he is to that particular path

The concern is not being a 'good' leader. Its being an EFFECTIVE leader, no matter your particular path. If your not effective, your moral pureness and virtue of thought is irrelevant. Mother Teresa was a 'good' person. She does not instill desire in me.

What kind of a woman is sexually aroused by a man who uses his intellect to make feeble minded people feel stupid? Better to use your grand IQ to illuminate the way for those with lesser intellectual capacity

I assume this is directed at me in regards to my comment on being non gentle and unamiable?
I was a bit obtuse, from the way you worded your reply, thats not what I was talking about. evenso, in regards to your question... females are attracted to dominant males. period.

We all develop filters on how we choose to see certain activities, a lot of times women 'chose' to see certain attractive behaviors as being 'bad' in a man or for a husband, because they have been burned by it in the past... regardless, it still affects them. They just mask it or try.

I do the same in regards to Women, I have filters that tell me when a visually attractive women is not healthy...

Back to your question. What kind of a woman is sexually aroused by a man who uses his intellect to make feeble minded people feel stupid? When worded that way, well of course thats not attractive. However, comics do this all the time is some fashion, dont they?

Am extreme example is Eddy Murphy and Dave Chappelle insulting each other in 'The Klumps'

Even though its effective thats not what I was talking about, either. I would choose to not be attracted to a woman who that was effective on no matter her looks. I was talking about when a drunk guy starts pulling on a womans clothes or acting aggressive with another man and asserting himself past certain limits. When I demonstrate my greater kinetic intelligence (from training and more importantly experience) after he refuses to use common sense and respond to my respectful requests that he cease, and encroaches on not just my boundaries, but the social group I am responsible for protecting, and creates a situation where someone has to be dominant, its very powerful.
Im not making them feel stupid, they are demonstrating their stupidity with the lack of social intelligence, lack of kinetic intelligence, and commen sense that says you dont fight with people paid and willing to take the job.

Im not trying to 'get' a reaction, or demean others, (cant we all just get along? ) like your question implies in the wording. I get a reaction after being forced to take a position of leadership and power.

There is plenty of ways to do all the above, without engaging in risky activities. This one just happens to be very visceral, and what gave me many awarenesses.

Some of those awarnesses were that strenth and power even in this 'violent' way were attractive. Some women were direct about it, even gleeful, despite the fact that I would be troubled- even aghast at what I had to do to contain the situation.
The gleefulness always disturbed me. I dont like 'violence'. Id prefer there was no fighting, but I enjoy being the peacemaker. Its confusing.
I just accept that for me, being a man, assertive feels good.

Then there were the females that would be verbally critical, and equally aghast, but the body language was unmistakable-- if you accept that words are not always truth.

And this is the point of the story. When your W gives you words that are contrary to what you know is attractive behavior, nod- smile- agree. And keep doing what is attractive. Its not necessary to talk her out of her belief, for her to appreciate your actions.


When your LDW fights and 'tests' you, she is IMO forcing you to take a position of power and leadership to change the status quo. Doing it with confidance and decisiveness, or insecurity and fear and anger, is going to make all the difference in the world.

All these traits and behaviors can be demonstrated without being a 'bad boy'. Even if Captain Jack Sparrow, is the penultimate lust inspiring 'bad boy'. He shows some very specific attractive behaviors other then integrity (selfishness), effective (not good) leadership, confidance, that work even when used in a quirky and 'gay' fashion. I was nearly overwhelmed myself. lol

anybody wanna list em out?