I think all of the above traits are very admirable qualities and important to implement inourselves but a couple of them are directly in opposition to the attractive male attributes that trigger sexual desire in women.

When I read the description I was reminded of the question Chrome likes to ask, "Yes, you would certainly love a man like that, but would you desire him?"


A woman will love a man that deserves, requires, earns respect. A man can worship and 'love' her till the sun ceases to exist, and she wont ever feel desire for him.

I had a thought along those lines the other day...you can never impress a woman by proving how much you love her. I know there are many women (Heather ) who would like nothing more than proof of their man's love, but that's not what we're talking about. It's not the "proof of love", in those cases, that's impressing the woman. There's something else that has attracted her and is causing her to desire "proof of love".


Kindness and philanthropy are demonstrations of Cine's statement, but they are also demonstrations of overflowing well-being, which usually leads to general sense of self confidance.

There are also theories that kindness is an effective survival strategy (inspiring mutual support) and philanthropy is a demonstration of fitness, in the evolutionary sense. If you accept that kindness is an effective survival strategy, then demonstrating kindness is also demonstrating evolutionary fitness.


Willing to seriously consider others POV, and if necessary integrate them into his own POV.
I beleive this is a good life policy, but in regards to sexual attraction, I completely disagree.

Perhaps there's some middle ground. I'm going to pick and choose a little from Deida:

"If a woman suggests something that changes a man's perspective, then he should make a new decision based on his new perspective. But he should never betray his own deepest knowledge and intuition in order to please his woman or "go along" with her. Both she and he will be weakened by such an action. ...

You should always listen to your woman, and then make your own decision. If you choose to go with your woman's suggestion even when deep in your heart you feel that another decision is more wise, you are, in effect, saying, "I don't trust my own wisdom." You are weakning yourself by telling yourself this. You are weakening your woman's trust in you: why should she trust your wisdom if you don't?

When you deny your deep truth to please your woman...your own sense of authenticity will burden your capacity to act with clarity. Your actions won't jibe with your core.

However, if you listen to your woman, taking everything she says into account and making your own best decision, then you are acting in accordance with your core. You are saying, in effect, "My deepest wisdom is leading me to this decision. If I am wrong, I will learn from it, and my wisdom will have deepend. I'm willing to be wrong, and grow from it. I trust this proces of acting from my deepest wisdom."

...You are open to listening to others, but in the end, you will take the responsibility for making your own decision. There is nobody else to blame."

The first part of that is what I see blackfoot saying. The last bit is what I think cine was saying. I also thought of this bit yesterday when reading OG_Lou's thread. His description of driving and getting something to eat with BB jibed very well with this concept (as long as he didn't get a bad attitude about it). She gave him driving input but he stuck politely to his guns. She didn't feel listened to but at least she learned Lou is trusting himself. Later Lou listened to her talking about pet rescue. If that didn't make her feel "listened to" then neither is driving the way she wants him to. It will only weaken him in her eyes and in his own eyes.


Exercises integrity at all costs.
Integrity is very ambiguous and self defined. One the positive side, a person with integrity will not allow disrespect. On the negative, survival and self preservation (fear) are the primary motives for a persons chameleon definition of integrity.

The man has to define his integrity for himself and the woman will respect it even if his living that integrity causes her discomfort.

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