Quote: If his main concern is to avoid a fight, then he NEEDS to know what you want FIRST. Then he can make a non-confrontational choice or counter offer. Without knowing your initial preference, he is now at risk for possibly creating a disagreement and he has been trained to avoid that at all costs.
I totally agree with this assessment. Every bit of it rings true.
However, the fact remains that--in the scenario-- I am not hungry. He is hungry and asking me where to eat. Most of the time I will pick a place just to avoid the would-be-comical-if-it-weren't-so-dang-annoying scenario, but again, I am not hungry. Or...I should say it this way: I avoid any kind of fast food because I don't want to be overweight. So I will usually opt to wait on eating out and eat when I get home. He knows this is my preference. So when he's buggin me for my preference he really wants me to tell HIM where to eat. But, see, I gotta pick the place that he is already thinking of. Of course, I don't play this game but I still don't see a way to "help" him not do this.
I agree with you that not saying anything--and watch him get truly upset--is not the way to go, and I rarely do that. But making the choice every time aint it either. Nudging him to do it himself does nothing but get him pissed off and yelling at me.
I suppose I could calmly say: "I would really like for you to make the decision this time. That would make me happier than you choosing a certain place that I might be thinking of.."
He will most likely say "Oh knock it off, HP! Just pick something!!"
Any other suggestions?
(P.S. I'll be gone for a couple weeks so I'll get this when I get back.)
