Quote: LIL My bf is a recovering alcoholic also. You CANNOT deal with them when they are "active," meaning they still engage in the behavior. You cannot reason with them, you cannot get through to them.
FRAN: I understand this. It is hard, I literally NEVER get a chance to talk to him when he is not “active”. He comes home and the first thing he does is open a beer.
If I had something I wanted to talk to him about, I had to time it very carefully. He would also go to the refrigerator and open a beer as he came into the house at night. Would usually drink a 12-pack every night. So I could talk to him through the first three... then he was impossible to talk to.
He's also one of these people who isn't coherent in the morning until he's had two cups of coffee (it's still true even though he doesn't drink any more), so I couldn't discuss anything with him in the morning either.
I cannnot believe I lived that way for two years. I was an idiot!!
Fran, don't second guess your actions by asking yourself if something is "fair" or not. If you want to do something do it, if you want to say something say it. Don't base your actions/decisions on how you think he might react. Be true to yourself. If you aren't true to yourself, who will be?
