Fran, drugs, alcohol having another woman, etc (not that he has more than alcohol) all things that spell your H is in alien land. People with those and other problems have no or very flexible rules and will pick one of their own rules and will use one suits them at the time. Usually the rule that proves them right and you and everyone else wrong.
I think Lil has good advice here having gone through this sort of thing before. Read some of the links she posted.
