When I tell my bf that he's being mean to me (like when he bites my head off for no reason), he says talk about "being mean" is childish and I'm too sensitive. Is THAT abuse? I honestly don't know. I DON'T trust my own inner signals and perception.
The interesting question is, if a certain behavior by your bf toward you is classified as "abuse", how does that change your response? Is abuse something that must not be tolerated while meanness or rudeness are personality flaws that we need to learn to live with?
FWIW, I once had a marriage counselor describe abuse as anything done (verbally, physically, emotionally, whatever) with the sole purpose of hurting somebody. That may not be a perfect definition but it works for me.
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