Wow, Fran, is divorce really the only option? It seems that neither of you really want a divorce but both of you are so eaten up by resentment that you are refusing to do a darn thing to stop the D train from rolling through your family.
So, neither of you like the other one. That is not surprising since your actions have deteriorated so much due to resentment. Both of you refuse to speak in the other's LL and so you both have the reality of being/feeling unloved. I would try to separate the emotion from this gut-wrenching realization and figure out where you can go from here. If divorce court is it, then I guess you will proceed with that. If this is just a horrible power play designed to get the other one to "crack" first, then QUIT IT. Take the high road and get a counselor. If it does indeed end in court anyway, at least you will have the satisfaction of knowing that he was not able to drag you down into a pit of resentment with him.
