Thanks GH and whatisis for your valuable input. I do realize that my sitch is kind of on the lighter side compared to what others are going or have been through.
Before I read you guys’ replies, I had already called W at work, right before lunch. She’s usually the one calling me during her lunch break, this time I initiated the call. Her voice didn’t indicate any anger or annoyance.She asked me if I checked my email, my alarms just went off, “uh oh”. She asked me where I was and I said “home”. She says “it’s bad”, UH OH again! I replied, “Ok, let me look at it and I’ll call you back.” She replied, “No, not that kind bad.” WHEW! (Wiped the sweat off my brow) Turns out she sent me one of those emails… crude humor and all that. Conversation lasted about 5 minutes, talking about checking the shingles on the roof because of the monsoon and about S8 and what she brought for lunch. She sounded fine, laughing, like nothing’s wrong (what the heck is going on with me).
I finally said, “Ok, I’m going to go get my lunch ready, but before I go I’d like to tell you sorry about last night and that I just have to get it off my chest.” I apologized in the morning but I did not mention anything about the disappointment. I said, “I’d like to clarify something though, I said something last night that might not have come out the way I meant it. I was not disappointed AT YOU; I was DISSAPOINTED that you did not join me back in the TV room.” She got quiet for a moment, at the same time while I was talking my voice was kind of cracking already… she finally acknowledge what I said and I said goodbye and told her I’ll talk to her later. She OK’ed that, and her voice sounded like she was in the verge of tears.
Nothing was mentioned about her ring during our talk, although she mentioned running late too because of getting stuck in traffic and calling her supervisor to let her know about her delay.
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Sadly we all live in situations where the slightest action of the S sets us into an obsessive thought pattern that is hard to resist.
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So very true, I fell right in it today head first.
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Also probably learning that you are seeing a counsellor has had an impact on her too.
This doesn’t seem to be a problem for her. I mentioned this the last time we had a discussion, that I needed to see someone before I go crazy. She was also the one who opened this up yesterday, and when she asked about it, it was the time when we were having a good time while watching the storm.
One thing I forgot to mention in my earlier post was that my C was wondering why I was the only one who came to the session. I told her that W is afraid that C will tell her to STOP communicating/seeing OM. C asked me to relay a message to W that she can come in for 3 sessions, that’s it, if she wants to go some more then it’s ok, and that during the session we will not talk about OM, just US, and how we can strengthen what we have. C’s reasoning behind this, we MIGHT make strong enough that she’d be able to detach from OM. W was intrigued about C’s suggestion when I told her about it, made her go “Hmmmmm”. Could this be also the reason she brought it up yesterday???
GH – I’m slowly getting into trying to voice out my thoughts. This is what my C suggested we work on, for me to be able to communicate to my W what I’m feeling.
I’ll post an update later tonight or maybe in the morning…. God I hope I’m just being paranoid.
