Suspected PA, Get A Private Eye??

[cat03]

Hey there, I'm sorry you are going through this. I don't know where you live, but in my state there's prob something to worry about because my H runned to a lawyer as soon as I found out he was leaving me and made up a story about having a woman (he sort of had at the time, not PA yet, I think).
So the first time we went to see a pastor he denied altogheter he'd told me he had a woman, it was awful! I went nuts, he did say that night he slept w/someone. He confessed that on the advice of his lawyer he had to deny any woman.

Now, about the exact details of a possible A, go to my post on the "piecing.." board so you understand that details will kill you, will haunt you, will make you sick day and night, I found out WAY to much and it's taking a lot from me not to conjure up the stuff I found out.

When are you going to MC? ask her point blank, tell her you suspect she is seeing someone, dont' say who.

W "even if we see MC it doesn't mean we won't separate"

The MLCers will say ANYthing, don't get hung up on every word she says, remember, her mind is in outerspace right now, she isn't herself. Sadly, lots of time need to pass for her to go through the dreaded MLC cycle, some take months, a few yrs, my H crashed and burned pretty quickly compared to others (about 7mths) he is still working at finding out who he is even though he is home.

I also got the lawyer talk, H told me he wanted the equity of the house, asked about custody, the works. About D, my H was about to serve me and I told him that I wasn't ready, that I wasn't of sound mind of making any decisions, to let me get over the shock, that bough me some time. Eventually he stopped talking D and selling the house, I didnt' bring it up either.

Please review the MLC cycle on the MLC board, how I'd wish I knew about that before!! I didnt' realize how deep my H was into MLC.

I know you are hurt and angry, and you turned to your family, but be careful, sometimes our family hurt so much for us that they can't think straight. They might even make things worse, and they if they haven't been in your shoes you might get bad advice, talk to someone who's been there or your C. I kept it all quiet from my parents and family, only one sister and cousin knew. My cousin had gone through the very exact same thing and she was my sanity line, my sweet sister who never went through this thought C was only for him and commend me "please don't cry!", she couldn't bear the thought of me hurting, oh if she knew that the first weeks my H left I was writhing in pain in my bed, crying out to God to give me peace.

And He did, I got closer to Him, I had neglected Him for so long. I chose every day to be happy, I CHOSE to not loose a day to my H's craziness, I told myself "I can do this", my two little children depended on me, I had to do it. I hope you get to see MC soon, she might not open up nor tell the truth, but talking to C might give you the peace of mind to carry you through this storm, hang in there.