It's been almost a year since I quite calmly told my H that I intended to have an affair if I had the chance. I haven't done anything about it. I live and work in an environment that would make extramarital sex difficult if not impossible. I work almost exclusively with men and I would never be taken seriously again if I had an affair with one of them. That's not an option. I would have to go way outside my norm to find a man to have sex with. Assuming that animal exists. It's not likely to happen unless I actively pursue it. In a way, I am scared to death to learn there are NO men out there who even WOULD consider having sex with me. At least just thinking about it gives me the option of hanging on to the dream. I think I threatened H with the affair in a nasty last ditch effort to get him to at least discuss our R and the lack of intimacy. I know threats rarely work but desperate times call for desperate measures. And I know I'm not the type who can easily go to the local bar and troll for fresh meat. If you folks really knew me, you would all be hysterical right now. I don't think the booty call would do a thing for me. Sex for the sake of sex isn't that interesting. There has to be more to it. I guess I am doomed to become a dry old hag. Probably sooner than I think.
H has no problems maintaining friendships with females. He likes women as friends. I can see him involved in an EA but never a PA. He would have to like sex for that. In a way, the other woman would be a relief. It would be easier for me to deal with an affair than a man who is asexual. Of course the grass is always greener on the other side. We always want what we can't have too.
Sometimes I'm angry. Angry with both of us. Sometimes I pity us and feel sorry for myself. Anger is probably good. It can precipitate change. Pity is for someone who allows themselves to be a victim.
Maybe I should just print this thread and let him read it??? I wonder if it would get any reaction?
