Since my last post so much has ensued, probably too much to post at one time I'm sure. In mid Sept, I got the suspected OM and his Mom to come over and do a kind of "intervention". Even though W still won't admit it, it seemed to be an EA not a PA, but I still have a little doubt lingering. I sucked it up. I forgave and forgot. I really did some 180's. Quit my orchestra, quit Weds night practice, parred down grilling to once every 2 weeks or so, slept in bed EVERY night, very open to whatever sex toy or position etc she wanted. Since mid Sept. we had reconciled and had the best sex of our M!.
W seemed to be actually "in love" again and it was like when we first met. Constant communication, TXT back and forth, calls, kisses, smiles. The works. I am SO thanking God for being so cool to us.
Then life sets in again. Work gets crazy for me. My boss is out for surgery and I am left "holdind the bag" during a very critical IT migration. I am literally thrust into a management role with almost no support or training, STRESS FUL to say the least.
Halloween is a big hobby of mine and it is always a time for creating new spooks and stuff in the garage. Plus the Sat. before we threw a party, our first at this house. Lots of details. My band played, cleaning, shopping, invites, decorations, etc. STRESS.
In the midst of this, I get the feeling W is getting distant again. Always myspace and walks, smoking too much, being distant. Crabby with S7, ignoring housework, very obsessed with "new" body (weight loss, new hair, wants a tattoo, clothes, lots of skimpy Victorias Secret undies and bras, self absorbed to say the least).
I ask W, if she's "OK" a couple times and she gets defensive and angry. She's not depressed. She's not MLC. I talk to her friend and ask point blank if she knows maybe whats going on. Nada. But friend tells my W, I was asking. She gets angry about this. I try to explain that I'm concerned were backsliding.
Then on Halloween night, late, she tells me that she is still unhappy. Says she feels bad driving home to the same old stuff. Doesn't feel like she is happy here. We talk a while but nothing is really resolved. Several of these nights she's sleeping on the couch. I try and wake her and she is out. We ML the night before Halloween... I thought it was passionate and good...????
The next day I have the day off and am cleaning up after Halloween, I notice the cabinet lock under our sink is undone. I go to fix it and look inside. The large "jack rabbit" vibrator is gone. This is our intimate love toy that we had used several times together and I assume her alone at times. Well it's gone. I look around a bit and don't see it. I call W and ask about it. (We had agreed that if anything looks hinky that we should ask). Well... I get a story that she was going to show it to an interested Girl friend, who was thinking of purchasing one. Hmmm. OK, I guess. Also that day I see a Victoria's Secret pink wrap paper laying on the closet floor. It was not there before. No big deal. I look and see a VSecret bag there, I look. New credit card. $1000 line of credit. I look a little more in the closet. New porn DVD missing.
W has been buying new sex toys and CD like every week. I think, good, as long as it's for us. Well all this is starting to look bad. I find another GAP bag there. Shopping trip a week prior, on a Friday during work hours. No mention of this to me. Secret crap again. OK so then that night, right on the bed, are 2 greasy CD's smelling like our massage oil.
This is too much! I confront her and she won't give an answer "I don't want to walk about it". Over and over. I say if you can't answer that means you're hiding something. I assume you're cheating or something!
Later that night in the garage she says she was horny and took all the to work to masturbate.??? Porn CD's at work? OK sure... this is too much. Then to really top it off, the bank account she was supposed to close 6 weeks ago is still active and she ordered a new debit card, hid the envelope under the visor in the car, fished the letter out of the mailbox. I confront her on this too. Another seemingly dubious excuse. So looks like were back where we started...
BUT no... it's worse. Today she went to a lawyer to talk to them about divorce and came home with a list of what we need to do to separate. I asked her to please try and talk to me or write me a letter to explain things. Well tonight I get a rather short letter saying if she's not happy then S7 can't be happy. Do I really want to keep her trapped in an unhappy marraige just to make me "happy"?
