Thanks for the reply. Let's see, last post was Sunday 08/27/06.
Since Monday things went OK, early on. I was happy to get my S7 ready for school/day care, W went on usual walk, W IM'ed me from her work about her myspace blog. She actually added me as a "friend" on her site. I picked up S7 from school, went home, talked to W a bit and went to my lodge practice. When I got home around 9pm, S7 was asleep and I said hello to W (on the computer as usual)... She said her friend from high school had emailed and really wanted her to go to the 20 yr HS reunion. I agreed and thought at first I was fine. Then, I was at the sink putting dishes in dishwasher and it struck me. Do I trust her to do this? Go out of state w/out me or S7. Is OM somehow involved? CRAP!!! According to W's blog "suspicion is viral". Dang right it is. I started getting emotional and crying. My freekin M has gone to hell. I can't trust my W to go to her own Mom's house. CRAP!! I feel like a weak little idiot standing over my W's dirty dang dishes crying because I can't trust her anymore.
Anyway, OF COURSE she just happens to come in the kitchen and see me being a blubbering ijit! DOHP! Now, at this point, as of last Sat. I have come completely clean as far as snooping etc etc. Do I make up something or let her know that the distrust has upset me like this.
=Truth wins=
I even said I am going against all the "rules" about "self help" (the word I use when she asks what I'm doing on the computer, instead of telling her DBing). I told her it was really OK if she goes, but deep down there is a kernal of doubt. There is not a whole lot I can change about that just yet. I had just caught her in major deceit on Saturday!
"I won't go then if that's how you feel"
So I now feel like the bad guy who won't let her do something "fun". 2 weeks ago I tried to ask if she had made a decision on this. My boss wanted to know am I still taking time off etc. I didn't know what to tell my parents. I left ALL options open. (Oh that's right it =IS= ALL MY FAULT! I forgot.)
So, after a lengthy emotional discussion. She's not going. I tried to give her assurance that I can deal w/ it. Part of me is not pleased with my emotional cracking and part is mad that I won't get the time alone w/ S7 and self not DBing all the time...! Part of me is glad she'll have to stay "close to home". So of course, now she's planting the "I'll probably have to work this weekend" seed. !???
On to Tues. 08/29/06. Tuesday was better. Pretty normal all day. Picked up S7 from daycare. Got home and he went to G-mamma's house for a few days. She (My Mom) stood in the foyer like she was in a stranger's house tho... awkward...)
I went to lodge for 2 hours. When I got home I got changed and made a total effort to be nice and try and talk. We actually snuggled on the couch for quite a while and kissed. Felt almost like old times, except for tears. Both of us. I still can't figure out if she's sad because of what's happened, because of guilt, what's not happened. I kinda of get the feeling like she is distancing herself from me to lessen the pain when she leaves??! I thought we might ML there on the couch, but she said "her little friend" is visiting. wait... wait... wait...
So, today is Wed. 08/30/06. 1st joint MC meeting. She has apparently cut off(?) contact w/ OM since Sunday. I had asked her to "cool it" Sunday. Good sign? or is that resentment underneath??
She was asked by MC if she was willing to work on M. She said she was on the fence, 50/50. Great... That was a blow... I guess that's better than nothing. Anyway, it was a major indicator of how far gone she is already. We didn't get to a lot of issues. MC is focusing on the normal M stuff for now. Communication, division of labor, closeness, all textbook stuff etc. All this is fine, but nothing as far as MLC. I told him my concerns at last appt.
He wants us to spend an hour a night together w/ no TV etc, talking, sitting, whatever. Preferably, after S7 is in bed for the night. We did it last night. You think she'll/me'll be able to do it til next Weds? We'll see I guess. This is usually the time when the "chores" are all done and she (lately) goes to smoke or blog or call or txt or whatever, and I either blog, read, watch show or fall asleep or both.
I just can't shake the feeling that the MC is in a kind of denial about the MLC / OM / A / EA. I even brought up the OM and pressed the issue, because I feel like it's the dang 800 lb gorilla in the room all the time. She is hurt more now because she has "lost" 3 friends, OM and his Parents too. Yeesh. I had to defend myself. I said I did NOT make this decision to have an "unnatural" R with OM. (not my words...) I did NOT say she couldn't have a friendship w/ him or his Parents. Just NOT this constant IM, TXT, Cell calls, all hours, etc etc. AGGHHH!
Anyhoo... I feel like if a few more sessions with this guy are the same, it's not doing any good. I feel like I lost ground since yesterday. W is still defensive, evasive and not owning up to whatever is really going on. Last night we were smootching and all.??
RollerCoaster.. da dah dah dah!! (think Beavis and Butthead the movie, w/ Red Hot Chili Peppers version playing in the background) RollerCoaster da da da dah!!
In a bit of desperation(?) I called my MIL and talked for a bit. I didn't tell her ALL the details, but DID say I suspected some sort of A, that this was SERIOUS, that I'm concerned for M, S7, AND W's well being. That I LOVE W and really feel like she's not giving M a chance. I said a little about MLC and she kinda laughed. People don't get it. It's like "cute" to them or something. I asked if she would call W and just check on her, that I am worried.
This is not how I envisioned our M ever being. Depressing.
After MC appt. on way to our (individual) cars, I asked W if she wanted to get lunch or anything. Nope. Back to work. See ya. I gave her an ILY she forced an ILY back.
Do I stop those again? Do I just act like this isn't eating me up? Stop saying the daily mantra of our marraige for 17 yr. ILY. I hate when that starts to hurt. When ILY makes the pit of your stomach ache with longing for "the way it used to be". Past is past. Freekin crap!
Blue sky, where are you when I need you most? Current mood: adfjdkjfhadofeiyteowih??
I was hoping that the sun and blue sky would show up today, but alas, not the case. I love it when the sky is blue, it reminds me of home. I know Ill get a browbeating for this, but I'm hoping that it's dreary and gloomy on the weekend, as Ill be in a non-air-conditioned 5th floor office (where the landlords are apparently too cheap to run the a/c on the weekend) for a good part of it, working on year-end reports. Yes, I do realize that year-end was 2 months ago. So Im a little behind - get over it. Or , better yet, hire me an assistant.
I was at the therapist's today (seeing as I work in the field of Psychiatry, I am not afraid or ashamed to seek these services or admit that I do) and was told that a friendship between a man and a woman will always have a sexual undertone. The guy explained that although the woman may not always have these feelings, the man always will. Furthermore, the woman may be naïve or deny that this is going on.
The friends I've talked to say this is crap.
And..direct quote from departmental psychologist, solicited by the one and only PsychoPrincess "that therapist is projecting his own thoughts and beliefs onto the couple. That's completely inappropriate and you should tell your friend to find a new one". What do you think? Time for a new therapist?
And, guys, have you ever had a woman friend that you didn't think about having sex with?
Having a close friend of the opposite sex is playing with fire. I watched my H get sucked into an EA with his long lost "girl" friend from high school.
Men and women should understand that there is a thing called crossing the line. Sharing one anothers burdens is one thing, but when that person becomes your best friend and replaces your spouse, it is wrong!!
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
BND, This not only crosses the line, but that's when it could very well be called an "emotional affair". You are right on the money w/your thinking.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends!
OK long time no see... hmmm. let's see here. Since last I was here plenty has happened, of course. I took off from work on Thurs and Fri, last week, and Tues (after Labor day) this week. We had originally planned on taking the whole week off, but W couldn't decide til last minute what to do. Anyway I got a little much needed R&R.
Friday was tropical storm Ernesto. That knocked out power and cable modem for most of the day. I still managed to go to the open house at S7's elementary school and meet the new 2nd gr. teacher.
S7 again was at Gmamma's for a little bit so they could go to the amusement park and swim etc for the last time of the summer. So it was just W & I. Since the power was out (I did get the generator going for the fridges and freezer tho) I said let's go out to eat. There's a new UNO's grill near us
so we went there, the 45 min wait was too much. So W quickly says "What about waffle house?" Now this IS close, but normally she hates little greasy spoons like this, so it was a little odd. My gut/psychic sense tells me, this is a spot her and OM had been to, they can both hang out and smoke.??? Just a glimmer, but a gut feeling none the less. Anyway, all goes well. We then go shop for a few groceries together. First time we've done that in a long time!
On Sat, W goes for usual walk. S7 comes home early afternoon. We actually go to my boss' house for dinner (my W's girl friend and myspace buddy is boss' W) so it all went pretty well. Almost normal??! The "boys" said no myspace during the party tho and the girls did very good. It was nice not having the W drinking, but now she's smoking like a fish... yeesh. The girls did make a bunch of funny pictures and emailed them home. All kewl. Well the next day the pics show up on W's myspace, but I notice there are none at all of me. Oh well...
So, Sunday I went to a new church that was awesome. Apparently part of W's reason for ducking church was she didn't like some of the sometimes subtle, fundamentalist bashing of gays, buddhists etc etc, which our Baptist minister from NC seems to do without really thinking about it. I mean I have a "friends of Tibet" license plate and Sierra club stickers on my car, so conservative I ain't really.
W and I always agreed that this is not really what we want in a church, and had talked a while back about going to another church to try it out. It it never gelled. I was/am? involved with the church praise band and orchestra and it's hard to just stop. So anyway I decided to go to a Unity church. I offered to W if she wanted to go, but nope... So I went by myself and it was awesome! Very spiritual and non judgemental. The music was great and the message was right on target. Joyce, the minister, talked about healing and inner power to heal yourself. They did a little silent meditation during the service and it was really nice. I felt very good after that! I met a lot of cool people too and will probably go back this week too. They have a 2 acre meditation garden there that really is nice too.
Monday, I drive w/ S7 to the mountains for the day. Good times! Tuesday W worked, first day of school for S7. I have the day off! Nice. I worked around the house cleaning etc, and went to my friends house to help prepare the massive (1500 lbs) of BBQ for my Lodge's fundraiser. This was a good release and first time I had done anything "non family" in a while.
During this time (last Thurs?) the massive cell phone bill became available online. We normally never go over our shared minutes and the tab is like $70, this bill was $309. I sat for several hours going over it and comparing dates and times with my journals here and my calendar I have been jotting notes in. Scary stuff kids. Major patterns with OM and W calling and texting when I leave the house, her breaks/Lunchs, several times after I turned in early (in the bed! no more chair sleeping. 180 for me! yeah!) I discover another guy in there she called 7 or 8 times. Once at 2:30 am, One call was over an hour long. (just friends, she met him at a bar when out w/ her girlfriends one night) AGGHHH.
I didn't bring any of this up until our MC session on Wed 09/06. There were 2 calls to a hotel near her work on the Sunday she left S7 w/ me at church and went to work. So it was pretty scary and depressing and all that, but at least I had something a little concrete to base my actions on.
At the MC session I brought all this up and was really trying to get a "break thru" as far as OM and whether she is committed to quitting the "single girl" behavior and trying to work on our M.
The MC really didn't go into the OM / A / EA stuff but so much. I think he sees how clammed up she is about it and is saying we need to "move on" and let the "past be the past". That's a hell of a lot easier said than done.
So last night (not leaving the past 100% I guess I have the print out of all the calls and the calendar showing how I was either sleeping, at work, at church or lodge during MOST of these TXT and calls. I sat very calmly at the kitchen table and waited for her to come by to talk. Well this of course turns into an emotional talk after a while. I feel like I am being as honest as I can, and actully talking about the BIG issues that I have. I am trying to show her that I am telling her all my "secrets" Here is waht I see and what I think is going on. I am basically trying to set some boundaries that I can't (and the M can't) tolerate this kind of behavior and she needs to stop. Period. We'll see if this backfires or lets her know I can't deal with the deceit and cheating behavior.
A little later, outside on our garden bench, I mention the OM's parents (my friends) and how we really need to all get together and talk all this through. I even said "the 5 of us" meaning OM too! I said if we could just get everything aired out, we could work through this. She is not liking this at all! "We can't go over there it's 9:30!" some other lame excuses... Well I smell blood I guess and I am pressing it a bit. I go in the house and call them, They weren't home, but W is losing it. So I feel like were getting close to the truth and she is starting to panic. I dunno. It's all so damn weird. I talked to OM's Dad and told him all this. He doesn't think she could bring herself to come... ??
The MC did agree that for us to move on and for me to gain any trust at all, she needs to be transparent on EVERYTHING. She is still in this denial or whatever that anything she has done is inappropriate. Hmmm, sound familiar kidz?
So (I know long post... sorry!) tonight I started off very nice. Sitting on the couch after S7 is in bed. MC says we are supposed to spend an hour a night together, just talking or whatever. So it starts like that. The topic of her birthday this Sat came up again. She is going on another "girls night out" with walking/myspace/new neighbor friend. They are going dancing and it's the "only night they can do it". W says we talked about this earlier (I don't remember that at all and remember feeling hurt when I saw her mention of "GNO" dance party on her blog).
So I'm being "nice" and saying OK we can do a late lunch or something Sat before that. But I did say I would like some assuarances that there would be no, giving out, getting cell numbers, acting "single" etc etc. I want her to wear her wedding ring! I need her to know and act like she is a married woman!
I also go on to the other transparencies that need to happen. The computer needs to be not a secret hideaway where she could still contact the OM. I said It'd be nice to sit with her and look at her myspace site. Let me see emails and whatever that "proves" she is not cheating. I said the "secret" bank account needs to be closed. She really doen't get this. She thinks is "OK" that she started a clandestine bank account, and unless I had snooped and found it, I would have no way of knowing. Our R had NEVER had secrets like this before and it's killing it!
She again starts getting very defensive and freaking out. Everything escalated to a shouting match. She unplugs the cable modem, hands it to me, throws the bank card at me, "effing this and effing that". Really pissed! So again I feel like I'm getting to the core of the teenager here. Some more yelling and stuff and I tell her "I am not going to lose it, so you can claim I am a violent husband" I feel like she is pushing the buttons to get me to crack. She started in with the "How do I know you're not fooling around? You could be doung this to make it look like I'm the one having an affair" WTF? Jeeze please Louise!
So I slammed the door pretty good, went in the garage cut up the damn bank card and went out for a walk.
Whew! Thanks. bedtime babies!
Monday... 9/11... 5 years later. Hmmm... Moment of Silence and all that. I feel so distant right now from the stark reality of that day 5 years ago. It was times like that when you really felt close to your spouse. We both cried, hugged, talked. S7 was only S2 then. Wow. Time rolls on.
So this was a little rough weekend... W had her GNO (girls nite out) w/ her friends on Sat 09/09. This was also her 38th birthday. I stayed @ home w/ S7. He caught up Pokemon and I with the grill and my radio shows (now on a "real" mp3 player instead of the old CD! Attaboy for ME!!)
We went out for lunch earlier in the day, but there was some tension. Not too bad tho... ?? Earlier in the day I was at the Lodge BBQ sale (Sat. morning) and I got back around 1pm. W said my parents had stopped by. They returned the charger for my S7's DVD player that got left @ their house. No mention of W's b'day. No card. Short and sweet. Anyway I know this hurt her feelings. I apologized for them, but said I can't really help if they are being "mean" about this. They may have flat out forgotten. I will call them later and see...
So we go to lunch. She's not but so happy to start with. S7 is roudy again (once again I think he's excited that we're doing ANYTHING together and can't help it). We gave W her presents (earrings, gift cert, and a card). I wasn't sure how much of a "big deal" to make out of the b'day. This was pretty typical of what I would get. Anyway it was OK. but just OK.
When we get home she starts preparing for "Operation GNO". they've made a big deal out of all this on their myspace blogs and it's like freekin prom night around here or something. So I hang out w/ S7 all afternoon and early evening, and she finally is ready at like 8:30 pm. I actually drive her to the neighbors (Her husband is dropping them at the sisters house... I know! Yeesh). I drop her off. She "swears to God" she'll be "good". I give her a Happy B'day, a kiss and an ILY. And go back home.
At 9:30(ish) I'm in the driveway looking up at the moon (grilling in backyard while S7 is doing Pokemon inside) and the (ex?)OM drives by. I don't really think about it.
I read a bedtime chapter (Harry Potter!) to son at about 11pm and fall asleep in his bed. I wake up @ about 3:15 and go to bed. A little bit later W gets home. She does something for a while and comes to bed too. I was asleep by the time she came up. I awake around 5 am and go downstairs.
I look at her blog and there is a post from her, her friend, and the (ex?)OM all about the same time, when the girls got home. 3am. So I check the cell phone and sure enough, W called x?OM about 9:30. About the same time I saw him leaving the neighborhood.
W told me the next morning that it was all innocent. She offered this explaination, without me asking. This is same dynamic as when the condom thin went on. She came to me first, so I don't know what to think really. I want to trust her so bad, but it's hard when this kind of stuff is going on.
Anyway, she explains that x?OM was supposed to meet up with my W's friends H (yeesh I know) and they were to hang out during GNO. It all just stinks if you ask me. There was no OM contact, that I could see, for 2 weeks and now this.
Also OM's Mom (our friend and neighb) gave W a b'day card and apparently was trying to mend fences. They sat together in church and got coffee afterward. All fine. I'm glad she is trying to mend that situation. But then later in the day I felt I needed to mention to W that because her and x?OM's Mom are friends again, that it will be awkward beacause of x?OM's proximity etc. That she needs to steer clear as much as possible from him and not let this crap start up again.
Today my W has a blog entry about her newfound fashion choice THONG underwear. And the conversation devolves into talk about plastic surgery b**b jobs and d*ldos! Then the x?OM posts a little something too. Yeeesh.
quote from x?OM on myspace" loving the fact that I live less then 20 seconds away from (friends name here), and (W's name here)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Posted while I'm in the dang back yard mowing grass and sweating MAO and these guys are bloggin away. Fed up! can you tell? Do I sound a bit freaked?
AAGGGHHH! Dang right.
All this on top of I've been told as recently as Friday that W is still unable to ML because of (tired, menstrating, we just had a fight last night, put excuse here...)
Makes me feel like Poop Doggy Dog. Really. I see where she has been visiting the "s-toys" at home, not with me mind you, and is active with that and is freekin posting mentions about it on myspace, while I'm told the usual excuses.
Since my last post so much has ensued, probably too much to post at one time I'm sure. In mid Sept, I got the suspected OM and his Mom to come over and do a kind of "intervention". Even though W still won't admit it, it seemed to be an EA not a PA, but I still have a little doubt lingering. I sucked it up. I forgave and forgot. I really did some 180's. Quit my orchestra, quit Weds night practice, parred down grilling to once every 2 weeks or so, slept in bed EVERY night, very open to whatever sex toy or position etc she wanted. Since mid Sept. we had reconciled and had the best sex of our M!.
W seemed to be actually "in love" again and it was like when we first met. Constant communication, TXT back and forth, calls, kisses, smiles. The works. I am SO thanking God for being so cool to us.
Then life sets in again. Work gets crazy for me. My boss is out for surgery and I am left "holdind the bag" during a very critical IT migration. I am literally thrust into a management role with almost no support or training, STRESS FUL to say the least.
Halloween is a big hobby of mine and it is always a time for creating new spooks and stuff in the garage. Plus the Sat. before we threw a party, our first at this house. Lots of details. My band played, cleaning, shopping, invites, decorations, etc. STRESS.
In the midst of this, I get the feeling W is getting distant again. Always myspace and walks, smoking too much, being distant. Crabby with S7, ignoring housework, very obsessed with "new" body (weight loss, new hair, wants a tattoo, clothes, lots of skimpy Victorias Secret undies and bras, self absorbed to say the least).
I ask W, if she's "OK" a couple times and she gets defensive and angry. She's not depressed. She's not MLC. I talk to her friend and ask point blank if she knows maybe whats going on. Nada. But friend tells my W, I was asking. She gets angry about this. I try to explain that I'm concerned were backsliding.
Then on Halloween night, late, she tells me that she is still unhappy. Says she feels bad driving home to the same old stuff. Doesn't feel like she is happy here. We talk a while but nothing is really resolved. Several of these nights she's sleeping on the couch. I try and wake her and she is out. We ML the night before Halloween... I thought it was passionate and good...????
The next day I have the day off and am cleaning up after Halloween, I notice the cabinet lock under our sink is undone. I go to fix it and look inside. The large "jack rabbit" vibrator is gone. This is our intimate love toy that we had used several times together and I assume her alone at times. Well it's gone. I look around a bit and don't see it. I call W and ask about it. (We had agreed that if anything looks hinky that we should ask). Well... I get a story that she was going to show it to an interested Girl friend, who was thinking of purchasing one. Hmmm. OK, I guess. Also that day I see a Victoria's Secret pink wrap paper laying on the closet floor. It was not there before. No big deal. I look and see a VSecret bag there, I look. New credit card. $1000 line of credit. I look a little more in the closet. New porn DVD missing.
W has been buying new sex toys and CD like every week. I think, good, as long as it's for us. Well all this is starting to look bad. I find another GAP bag there. Shopping trip a week prior, on a Friday during work hours. No mention of this to me. Secret crap again. OK so then that night, right on the bed, are 2 greasy CD's smelling like our massage oil.
This is too much! I confront her and she won't give an answer "I don't want to walk about it". Over and over. I say if you can't answer that means you're hiding something. I assume you're cheating or something!
Later that night in the garage she says she was horny and took all the to work to masturbate.??? Porn CD's at work? OK sure... this is too much. Then to really top it off, the bank account she was supposed to close 6 weeks ago is still active and she ordered a new debit card, hid the envelope under the visor in the car, fished the letter out of the mailbox. I confront her on this too. Another seemingly dubious excuse. So looks like were back where we started...
BUT no... it's worse. Today she went to a lawyer to talk to them about divorce and came home with a list of what we need to do to separate. I asked her to please try and talk to me or write me a letter to explain things. Well tonight I get a rather short letter saying if she's not happy then S7 can't be happy. Do I really want to keep her trapped in an unhappy marraige just to make me "happy"?
The big fight we had the other night has now turned into "assault and battery" charges against me. She got a restraining order for the week too. The police came to my office and took me away in handcuffs. I'm not allowed ANY contact with W for 1 week. Go to court on 11/15.
Apparently "unwanted touching" is all that's needed to press charges. I held her wrists and hands when I was trying to talk to her about everything and she wanted loose quicker than I did. I also tried to talk in the bedroom and was blocking the door for like 1 miunute trying to talk.
She locked herself in guest room. I tried the door saw it was locked and left her alone. She didn't do anything until the next morning, after I left for work.
Please pray for me and my family. I have been spending time at my parents (w/ s7 this weekend so at least that's good) and at a friend's house. He is getting a divorce, packing up his 3 kids stuff so the house can be sold at the end of the month. I'm helping a bit. Depressing.
At least W did let my parents get some of my things and my medicines. I got a lawyer on Friday. I'm am SO forced into her divirce now. I was trying to discuss future? of R and now I'm a criminal... crap!
She spent weekend blogging it up. Posting on myspace. Went to our yearly neighborhood block party alone. Invited her myspace buddies back to our place for jello shooters and kareoke. Went to brunch with her myspace friends today. They posted pics of themselves having fun and talking all about their gel bras and thongs from Victoria's secret.
I went to church. Played music there, prayed as hard as ever and just a little bit ago I was crying while helping my friend pack his kids toys and pictures away. His middle girl D7 comes in crying. "Daddy do we have to move?" She is also concerned about switching neghborhoods and schools.
All this to look forward to. not. Dark damn days. I am such a freekin IDIOT for touching her at all. I have NEVER hit her or been violent. Arguments and yelling yes, but physical stuff no. Hitting a door or wall (in the past! mind you) yes. But hitting people NO. She knows this too. I feel like such a damn SUCKER now. I have an anger problem and know it. She does too and and I guess I played right into her little trap.
Well, at least I already made a MC appt, just for me. Need to talk. Goodnight guys.
OK... well back again my friends. Court today. Was served a new restraining order and she wants custody with NO visitation for now. We go before the judge, I with a lawyer, she with an advocate. The judge allowed my L to talk to her advocate, since that morning (right before court) was the first anyone had heard of the custody part. So, she budged a little and I can have supervised visitation with my parents.
Happy Holidays sweetie!
So, I am sitting here at work late and am going to look for apartments or houses online. Just got the bank account straightened out, so I can have my paycheck put into my own account. yeesh...
I got a house to rent... creepy and old but a house! (w/ storage!) now if they can get the new carpets laid and the furnace fixed b4 next Monday!
Also things are going quickly with the L's. Mine sent hers a separation letter, outling the main points for our separation. Hopefully she will cooperate and remove the restraing order b4 Xmas...
We can't even pay bills or do ANYTHING without someone else doing the communication. Not that I feel like "talking" to her anyway... but I do want to see my S7 more and be able to get some basic stuff. I don't even have a mattress or bed at the new house. Running out of $ quick too.
Oh, and to top it off... like there isn't enough drama already!
My Mom is in the hospital tonight with some sort of internal bleeding colon. I will hear later if she needs surgery or what. When it rains...
I have the print out of all the calls and the calendar showing how I was either sleeping, at work, at church or lodge during MOST of these TXT and calls. I sat very calmly at the kitchen table and waited for her to come by to talk. Well this of course turns into an emotional talk after a while. I feel like I am being as honest as I can, and actully talking about the BIG issues that I have. I am trying to show her that I am telling her all my "secrets" Here is waht I see and what I think is going on. I am basically trying to set some boundaries that I can't (and the M can't) tolerate this kind of behavior and she needs to stop. Period. We'll see if this backfires or lets her know I can't deal with the deceit and cheating behavior.
I hate this crap. ugh.