Ok people!! It's Monday afternoon and the day is almost done!
But, a little more journaling first: Saturday morning W went for her daily walk w/ new neighbor friend (and myspace buddy). After getting home an hour+ later, she turns around and goes right back out to the neighbor/OM's house to help with their computer. Almost 3 hours later, the OM's mother calls from her cellphone (I know, this is so convoluted ). She asks where W is? I said "At your house". She went on to tell me how I just need to trust and believe her. I need to show more affection etc. I tried tactfully to tell her that they did not have all the information. She went on and on. I finally told her I had to hang up and did so.
I went over to neighb/OM's w my S7 and asked if W could please watch him for an hour so I could go to the dump. On the way home I was able to talk to one of my lodge brothers who has gone through similar issues. That always seems to help to talk to people who have been through stuff and survived.
Anyway when I get home, she asks why I was "rude" on the phone. I relayed what had happened. She wants to know WHAT information do I have that the neighb wouldn't (they talk about eveything) I asked W to just tell me what is really going on and what her plans are. She can't/won't. I wait. Nothing.
So finally I spill the beans. I told her everything that I had found out. About the TXT messages between her and OM. Him meeting her after work in parking lot of work. The wee hours messages. The condoms in the purse. The hidden credit card bills. The secret bank account, which I informed her that she had the new dang bank card IN HER POCKET AS WE SPEAK! That blew her away a little. I asked that she show me. I said this is not in our name, only yours. Doesn't show up online, doesn't seem to be accesable by me WTF!!?? AND I found a print out from realtor.com showing driving directions to a house for sale near her work. ??
I just wish she would tell me the truth if at all possible. She has her friends and the OM's family believing most of this and the therapist as well. A bunch are on myspace and post all kinds of little things about the sitch and/or me. I finally responded to one today, just saying that they did not have all the info and to please keep our family and S7 in mind when talking about her/my issues. I haven't spoken to MIL in a while, so who knows what her family thinks. Yeesh.
So she explains the issues: We went to lunch after work (4:30 pm!) and didn't want to tell me for fear I'd misunderstand. We are just good friends, she's helping him assimilate (nice word!) himself back into society after prison. The CC bills were paid by her (I paid $100+ last week so I hope we have a credit??), the secret bank account is to put "mad money" from the OM in. Money he won playing poker in Atlantic City. This is the trip she took with OM, and his family. He "tipped" her for being his good luck buddy... Upon return from this trip is when all the weird behavior started. The realtor printout was her "thinking about options".
So all this goes down Sat afternoon. It was pretty civil though... In the end I felt better having unleashed all my snoop guilt and it let her know to what extent I am aware of her actions. (At least partially aware... ugh.)
So after all that she's in the other rm on the computer, and I went in and hugged her. Said ILY and always did. I would remarry her and redo vows if it mattered. We could symbollically start again and she would be forgiven. I said no matter what happens we would be friends, and I truly hope that is true. So, that seemed to crack the shell a bit. Sat night we had movie night at home and things seemed better. Still no ML since all this tho... waiting. waiting. la.la.la.
Sunday morning: W went for her daily walk w/ new neighbor friend, she is gone right up until when I have to go to church. Instead of hoping that she gets S ready in time, drives the 5 miles there, drops him off at children's church and then (lately) goes back home; I got him and me ready and when she got back I said I'll take him and he can play during our early rehearsal. It was a little hectic, but not bad at all. I plan on doing more things like that as 180's. After church S and I go to band practice. During prac. my cell beeps (I usually leave it in the car, but had it inside for some reason...) The message: "Would you call me please it's very important?" I'm thinking death, sickness, dog hit by a car, you know "important". I call and she wants to know "What did you say to OM's Mom? They gave him the 3rd degree about the txt messages."
OMG!! This is rich. The first txt message "I" have gotten from her in a long while and it's for concern for the OM!??
Yeesh. I said "What I told her is what I believe to be the truth. The late night txt'ing. The afternoon get together at your work. The sheer number of messages!!!! Last bill she did 4 messages. This bill is at like 115 sent alone. I just said how it all does not sit well, especially if he knows were having issues. Can he please stop?
Come on! All the people I have talked to who have been through this stuff think it's an A. I'm hoping "only" an emotional A, but still an A... I asked her to try and see it from outside her prospective (I know asking a lot from inside the MLC fog) and to see that all these things added up seem to paint a very disturbing picture for our R. She doesn't seem to see it...
She blogged this on her site:
Sunday, August 27, 2006 = Suspicion is viral = Current mood: gloomy
Why do people take some innocent things, twist them all around, put them in a big pot together and turn them into something they aren't? And then pass it along to other people even?
Anything in life, taken out of context, can have a totally different meaning. If someone already has something in their head or thinks something hinky is going on, of course they'll take that other meaning and run with it.
If you think something is hinky (no I don't know if that is really a word and I don't really give a crap right now), all you have to do is ASK. Most likely, there is a logical explanation.
Now, is that deep, dark hole ready for me? I'd like to crawl in now and never, ever come out.
Yes, this is a big font. Deal with it.
And will I EVER get this stinkin term paper done? =================================================
My reply (1st one... I know I probably shouldn't, but felt like defending my point of view!):
Hello all.
I feel like I am getting blasted here without the benefit of all of you knowing both sides of the story. I am not "miserable", I am not confabulating conspiracies out of whole cloth, there are a lot of factors and different things that NONE of you know about.
I would appreciate if everyone could please think about what's at stake here.
A family, a beautiful child, a relationship that has lasted 17 years so far through all kinds of adversity and life's problems.
No, I'm not perfect. I don't expect perfection either. I am just trying to give our family a chance to survive before it's too late.
Please, realize this is not just about any one person. but about a family. Thanks.
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Whew... OK enuff... I feel slightly deflated and limp after all that venom and spew got out! Ahhh... better!
OK, I gotta pickup S from school. See ya soon. Mman13.
). She asks where W is? I said "At your house". She went on to tell me how I just need to trust and believe her. I need to show more affection etc. I tried tactfully to tell her that they did not have all the information. She went on and on. I finally told her I had to hang up and did so. 
