OK.. so today is my MC session, I always get nervous...

It was a little tense around the house this morning. 1st after W got shower and I was rushing to get mine and iron etc. She's just sitting on the edge of the bed, head in hands. Last night she said "I wish you could believe me" (about condoms) I answered I wish she hadn't made these choices.

There is a corner in our kitchen that is aleady crowded with 2 people in there getting coffee and lunches ready. We used to alwayd reach around each other kind hug like.

Well this morn it's me and W trying not to touch each other AND get our stuff. It was awkward and sad. I hate the way this feels. Like I want to just hug her and tell her how much I love her and that all this is just a bad dream somehow. But... blink.

Reality is that she seemed to be esenting that she actually had to be at work on time for a meeting this morning. But this evening it's another "night w/ the girls". I am left wondering how true that is and all that baggage. Ugh.

So anyway I had to go to work, then to the MC's office @ 9. When I left the house my S7 was saying Bye ILY and I did too and left. He ran to the door and wanted a hug. I had just started to lock the door from outside, and was thinking how this was always the moment when I'd say ILY to W and kiss her bye for the day. I started to get teary, and then W opens door to let my S out to hug me. So he's hugging me, I'm about to cry, and W starts to say something that I shouldn't feel this way. I had to walk quick to the car and I just said we'd talk later, I had to go.

I got to the end of the drive and look over to where the OM? car is parked, and I just had to scream loud. LOUD. SCREAM !!! at the top of my lungs at this damn ba&*ard!!!

Felt good really. Now I have a sore throat, but at least I kept most of it in until I was out of ear and eyeshot of W.

The MC visit was OK, she had him pretty snowed though. When I brought up the condoms, he was visibly surprised ti the point that I asked, "Didn't she mention that?". Nope. Didn;t mention OM, cell phone, IM stuff, working late. It was all me. Welp... I gotta go get S from daycare. Shop for groceries and a new kitty color. Go home feed the dogs and let out the cat. Maybe I'll feel like eating dinner. I've lost a few lbs. so far. My blood sugar finally was below 185 today (still way high! ) If that continues I've got to go to the doc and go on insulin. Something I have staved off for about 22 years now.

OK all... have a great weekend. Stay busy.