W had her MC session today. She said he was OK. ?? Also said he can see us both on Wednesday morning. The sooner the better.
On a sad and (makes ME feel guilty! note...) I talked to an investigator today and am seeing about having an investigation done about the PA. I can barely stand not really knowing. My bloodsugar is high from stress lately. I can't get back to sleep after waking up at 4 am. The OM is 2 dang doors down and way too accessible. If it's not cell txt, calls, it's myspace IM and god knows what else. She's been late to work all the time anymore and him being so close makes me wonder what's going on after I leave the house for work. According to the few txt messages I saw, he was meeting her in the parking lot of her job (for lunch one said at 4:30 pm) Is "lunch" code for you know what ??? I mean 4:30.
I hate this crap. I hate the OM and the fact that he has absolutley NO real responsibilities, lives at his parents house, and is so close I could walk over there and beat him senseless with a baseball bat!!! oops... not PMA.
OK. back to our regulary scheduled program....
I'm hoping that if I have more solid evidence and can let her (and him, or at least his parents) know, that I REALLY know what's going on, it might stop. I have been detached to the point of feeling like a ghost around her. A few words here and there and no emotions. That is SO not me. I am usually animated and talkative. I love people, I love my wife so freekin much I just started crying like crap from reading this and feeling like I'm in a crazy twilight zone. Aw man...
I know... self pity, bla bla bla. Sorry. Sleepy.
On a better note: (thank God) W emailed me paystub info that coorborates her alibi about the pay being less. She replaced the $100 into my sons piggybank that she took out of real bank for ?? on Sat. There was less tension after her MC session today. She actually did some laundry (first house type thing she's done in a while). Her plants were all dying outside and I had watered a couple times. I had to call her attention to the fact that they were drying up. It was like they weren't there. I saw W myspace site. Some clues. Some derogatory towards me comments. Not too bad tho. Of course the OM is in her friends list.
I am up way too late already. Go to sleep. sleep is good. Sleep is my friend. I got snot dripping and tears all over my face. yuk. goodnight.
