I'll have to take a look at "After the Affair" again. I've had a difficult time paying attention to things and even reading since the affair/divorce started. Generally I inhale books, but now I have a really hard time committing to practically everything. One of these days I hope to climb out of this hole.

I can understand not wanting to talk about the affair or answer questions, but maybe this can be done very very gradually. Eventually the details won't matter and it can be a story we put to rest. In the meantime I think most of us yearn for some kind of understanding.

I deal with some ugly feelings to. It really bothers me that this crummy stranger knows whatever information about me my husband chose to share with her. She probably knows more about me than I know about her. Also, it bothers me to no end that he protected and supported her over me.... and the irony of that!!!! The fact that the person who loved him the most (and would NEVER foget him and mourn his loss if he died) gets treated like garbage, while the person who would remember him for maybe 6 months and then forget what he even looked like got treated like a princess!!!! Oh well..... enough of my complaining on your thread. I'm handing the darn monkey back!!!!

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.