he just groaned and say he just can't talk about such things, why do I have to be so graphic. He never openly talks about sex, I bring it up, looking back, he never was one to talk about it as much as he enjoyed it, was always too shy.
It's kind of funny how we all worry about the same things. My guess here is if your husband is generally shy about sex, talking about it, etc... he was probably just as shy (if not more so) about it with her.
One way I've learned to deal with this whole thing is to take it as a challenge. I may not know how great, or not so great, things might have been with OW, but I'm going to try to make them better in my own marriage. Go to the book store and look through books in the sex section ( they are usually near the relationship books!), go to Victoria's Secret and get some amazing lingerie and suprise your husband with it.
I once went to my husband's apartment with a raincoat on, thigh high boots (all us wives should get a pair of these!!! I call them the slut boots!) and super sexy lingerie underneath. Thank goodness I didn't get into an accident or get stopped by a police officer. Yikes!!!!
Anyhow, the way I see it no OW is going to outdo me with my own husband. So rather then worry about it I'm going to be better and eventually wipe out any memories of her. I think all of us here should be doing this with our husbands.
And yet, it's still really painful. At one point he did choose OW over me. That really hurts. I have "triggers" too. My husband once stayed overnight at Disneyland with her. So every time I see Mickey Mouse or think about the friggin "Happiest Place on Earth" I imagine them together there. That's really maddening.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
