Here is my post, for anyone who cares, which was supposed to be here not on the old thread, if anything, learn from my mistakes:
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH this damn rollercoaster!!!! Friday- felt good, went to C, didn't even loose my cool Saturday- felt bad enough to go out and find someone to ... yea, that Sunday- felt much better, pushed all images aside Monday- feel that sickness again, looked again for dates and loose ends
He said he hadn't had sx w/HW (homewrecker) for a long time before he came home and we ML. Guess 1mth it isn't a long time, I was piecing in my mind again a timeline (yes, I was torturing myself, I TRIED not to! I even put on Rocky at 6am in an efford to distract myself from crazy thoughts) and it doesn't seem like he is telling the truth, this are my suppositions, I guess I could be wrong, I dont' know anymore. We went to Vegas in end of April, though originally his plan was to go w/her, he bought plane and show tickets the 13th of that month, hotel, all the works.
ARRGHHH, the details are killing me, yes, we ended up going together, and yes, I understand he needed time to get her out of her mind, he came back to me right after his plans didnt' work out.
My heart is chopped up again, just talked to C on phone, he tells me that no answer H gives me about the past will satisfied me (ei why he went on a family vacation w/us & planned his trip to Vegas at the same time) soooooooooo, *SIGH* I'm fighing little demons right now.
OK, reading from my cheat sheet: Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
