Oh boy, Cat....first off let me tell you how sorry I am that you discovered all that "stuff"....also let me tell you that I totally understand your feelings...the betrayal is devistating to say the least....but I can tell you it is not the end...
First let me just comment on the flowers....could be many reasons....maybe SHE has the number and sent them to herself just to cause problems???....maybe he was feeling guilty about involving her in this mess he made and so he sent her flowers feeling that he didn't go see her in person or talk to her so it would be ok???....but in the end, it doesn't matter because you found out he had lied to you...
The bigger issue...EA that really was PA...I won't go on and on with this but I am not suprised...no man wants to admit to an affair....they know it is going to open up so much and they can't handle anything....he didn't lie to you in his mind....he lied for you....
Listen to me....you need to relax....you need to stop casting blame....you need to realize that he is back with you and it is going to take time...my H has been back for 6 mos. and still can't say "I love you"....but he is here and we are getting better....it is hard to see as it goes along...it is when I look back that I see how far we have come....
Get control of your emotions....if you can't control them then take a personal time out....let him know why....tell him you feel out of control and don't want to make things worse...he will respect you for this...
Also...hug him, kiss him, I will leave the sexual thing to you because I understand the "pity sex" feeling...but don't take away you affection....that is what heals...that is the glue to the relationship....and it isn't just for him...it will help you too...
I also had to wait for my H to do the STD thing...I just got him to the doctor this month!....so far things are good just a few more tests...
Let you husband keep his dignity...no more quizing...it will only make you feel bad....him feel bad for making you feel bad...and in the end you both have gained nothing for it....what's done is done...you can't change the past but you can change the future...look to the future....the only time I look back now is to see how far I have come....how far we have come..
You will be fine...today is a new day....embrace it...enjoy it....live it....
And honey...I got the debt thing all over on you...you think 10K is bad....how about 120K!....and 16K of it is on me!!!...even after bankruptcy on his part he will owe the IRS about 30K!!! So count your blessings
