Just stopping by your curb to hold your hand and sit with you, honey. Brought some beer and a pack of cigarettes so we can get all redneck while we sit here...
Oh, honey. I don't even know what to say to you. I certainly won't lecture about the snooping b/c what's done is done. But don't look at any more of it, Cat. Just don't. I KNOW how hard that is to put feet to. I know how hard it is not to chew on that bone, and just gnaw on the things you already saw/read. I KNOW. Just sittin' here with you on the curb sipping my beer, b/c I am no pro at doing the right thing, but I can hang out here and hurt with you like nobody's business.
Grieve what you need to grieve. Absolutely. But don't throw it in his face in a fit of emotional insanity. Put it elsewhere. Post here. Write in a journal. Talk to your C. PROCESS it first. Don't R talk. Don't A talk. Just sit still and work thru your emotions and get a game plan. Get centered. Get your head together. As much as you can, anyway, when your feet have been amputated out from under you. I know.
Breathe in and out, Cat. It's all I know to do some days, honey. You WILL survive this. This will not consume you and you will be able to breathe without that elephant foot on your chest. I don't know when, but you will.
Here is my favorite new verse from the Message bible (LOVE that translation):
So here's what I think: The best thing you can do right now is to finish what you started last year and not let those good intentions grow stale. Your heart's been in the right place all along. You've got what it takes to finish it up, so go to it. Once the commitment is clear, you do what you can, not what you can't. The heart regulates the hands. 2 Corinthians 8:10
Chew on that a while, as we sit here on the curb my friend. Hold on.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
