Ok, but things shouldn't change radically now. If they do, then it's obvious that it's all for her/the sitch. Keep changing for YOU.
This is NOT the final table, it's just one where she's dealt the hand and the dealer ALWAYS has the advantage...UNLESS you are cheating and DB is a GREAT way to cheat when playing marriage "cards".
Quote: She has equated the feeling of physical sexual attraction as the gauge for how much you love someone. She feels that if there isn't that oh my god sex every time it can't be true love and we can't be meant for each other.
I'm almost afraid to post once again that someone should read Passionate Marriage, trust me, I am not getting a kick-back from the author or anything. Hell, I haven't even read it all, but if there are sexual issues involved in why your marriage broke down, it's WELL worth the investment to see what this book has to offer you.
In terms of what she said about sex=love, that should give you a BIG clue to what she finds lacking. Turns out that the same thing was lacking in my M too. Knock me over with a feather when I found that out because I thought my W didn't really care for sex. No, she DOES care, she just wants it to be filled with passion, excitement, etc. She wants to feel like I'm MLing to HER, not just MLing because I want to get off. She wants to know I want to f--k HER, not just a woman.
I never got that at all. I was afraid to take risks in terms of trying different things, initiating (fear of rejection) and all along, she started to just get bored. It wasn't that she didn't like sex, she just didn't like what it became in our marriage over time, especially after the boys were born.
Learn more about this if you can and then maybe try to act on it.
Quote: WHEW anticipation is an unbelievable feeling when paired with fear.
Great quote. You're right. Just take it easy and one day at a time. No BIG changes. Don't get too excited. Just "be" and show her that you can be normal. Show her what she will get if she stays at this table. Show her that it's not a gamble at all and at the end of the night, throw her up on the table and show her how exciting it will be!
