Thanks guys I do appreciate the advice. I do realize I am looking forward in all of this and as sad as it feels my need for my W weakens every day. I still love her to death but I can't live my life on hold waiting for her to get back on the line. Everything I have been told on here from all the vets is whatever you do don't make it seem like you are just waiting for her or trying to get her back. Don't show her anything that would make her feel you are holding on. I felt that showing her I was moving on and having fun doing it was the way to get her to see she still needs and loves me. That way if it really is over then I am at a point where I can move on with confidence and self respect. i know the condom thing was foolish act but it wasn't the end. Seemed to be far from it. If I am doing something wrong the what do I do now? How long do I wait for her to come around? When do I try to get my W back on my terms instead of waiting? I don't know about holding on to the marriage because I don't know the whole sitch on her end. I can tell you that with all the evidence I have about it she has met someone else and got into a EA. I can't say for sure. I can't say that she hasn't felt like this for years like she claims. And no one can say what happens next. Right now I am focusing on me. Sure my W is still a HUGE part of my life and always on my mind. She has been a HUGE part of me for eleven years. I know there is no erasing that. I know there is no replacing that. i don't need to. I do need to worry about other things though. Even if this marriage ends life goes on and I have seen that now. If she called me today or tomorrow or whenever and said lets try again at this moment I would say yes. If she asked me that months or years from now who knows. I am just doing what I feel is right for me and dangit I had fun. I never asked to be in this sitch but i will make the best of it ok
