Ok, I won't beat this to death but I will give it one more round. After reading your last post, I still come away thinking you did something that you would hold against your W if the shoe were on the other foot. GAL is NOT about flirting or trying to get the attention of, nor paying attention to another woman. Quite the opposite, it's about proving to you AND her that you can be a whole man without her or any other woman supporting you OR you supporting her.
Sure, she may have married you because of that "life of the party" guy you were, but you are on the path to divorce because of the actions she took that were probably born out a misplaced need to recapture the intense feelings she once had for you, similar feelings I bet you get from flirting with this other woman. How about both of you being the life of your marriage instead of a party?
I look at GAL as learning to have a life, THE SAME LIFE you would have even if she were happily at home. THE SAME LIFE, or kind of life you want for her, filled with fun, friends and hobbies. That does not include being intimate with other women/men, which from your initial description you were, at least enough to get the attention of the rest of the party (and no, I am not implying you were physical in any way...you know what I mean).
You can be the life of the party without doing what you KNOW you did with this woman. You gave her the kind of attention I bet you used to reserve for your W, and that you expect her to reserve for you.
Quote: If my path leads me back to my W or to something else I will be like this from now on. I didn't flirt in any bar pickup kind of way. I just gave her the most attention and listened to her and complimented her. What I didn't do is say you are so hot or man if only thins were different. I also mingled with everyone else. I met new people. i din't just hover around her trying to score or stroke my manhood needs. and whatisis I only F'd up once. Everything else i have dropped. And the girl was my W's friend not my buddy's. Not married either.
Ok, and in this paragraph we have a clue to what's up here. You are becoming less concerned with saving your marriage, and you know what, that's ok. That's up to you but realize that the advice we give you here is all about you first, but ultimately, it's about saving your marriage. Sure, we may say don't do that, but that's because we know it won't really help achieve your greater goal. IF your goal has changed or your commitment is not that great, then so be it.
We just want you to be happy so take what advice you are given do with it what you may.
GH
P.S. BTW, it was not a way out there choice. It was a very common choice for a LBS to make, just one that many of us have either tried, or seen others try to no avail.
