I know they just want the pain to go away its just their compassion. I am committed to keeping this marriage. My DBing will be the long haul. Its just a rollercoaster you know The biggest reason I am not moving on is my kids. I see their pain every time I drop them off at the house. My wife has no money no food and barely enough money for gas to take them anywhere. Most of her spending money goes to her nights out. That really makes me sad. My oldest is in fifth grade and as soon as we get there he goes to his room, shuts the door and turns on the tv. My youngest fights to come with me every time. What does that do to her? I think it makes her resentful not remorseful and thats a shame. Her boys love her more than she knows and don't understand whats going on. Seperation doesn't have a trickle down effect on the kids. They aren't happy because their moms happy or sad because their dad is sad. The emotion they feel is hurt confusion anger self blame and so on. So I will keep at this as long as it takes for her eyes to open again. My children deserve that as much as they deserve anything. And thanks again for the caring and support. Without help we all would be lost. God Bless