BI - if there's anyone here that can do this, it's you. It's not about standing, it's about doing. Men like a stable environment - that's why he doesn't want to change anything. Women like to be constantly stimulated. Maybe you need to start setting up little explosive charges all over the place and start him jumping. There's a reason he was attracted to you and all your controlling, critical stuff. I bet a part of it was the challenge of getting you to calm down and be stable. Well, give him that challenge and know for yourself that the only way he'll be able to regain that stability he's seeking is to throw you a bone (so to speak). He knows what the solution is, he just isn't motivated. Light a fire under him. Stop looking up at the mountain (I'm fairly certain that you don't often look down to see just how far you've come) and start looking at the campsite you're both sitting in together and see what you can do to help make it a place to move forward from together.
You can do it. If you want to. Let yourself be who you are, not a box you build around yourself designed in fear.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
