one of the things i read somewhere is to pray for God to let you see your H as GOD sees him, not as he is in our eyes...covered by Grace, and as the man God wants him to be. Soon, you will see him that way, too.
in other words, how we perceive them in our heart determines how we see them in real life-honorable or dishonorable, which then controls how we treat them and react to them. If we can see them honorably, then we don't have to fight to keep our actions non-condemning.
Even tho my H is still out there and still with the OW, I prefer to think of him as the honorable man he used to be and i will defend him as such to others as well as to himself. its only when i dwell on what he's done that i hurt. I think that's the key--its easy to focus on our hurts and pain, but when we take our eyes off ourselves and keep focused on Jesus, it becomes bearable and we can be merciful and loving. jacqm
