My Glass is Almost Empty, BI_43 part 2

[MuddleThrough]

I need to be supportive and not so fcuking DISAPPOINTED in what I am not getting from my H.

Maybe reframing these thoughts when you have them as "what can we do together" rather than "what he's not doing for you" could help? As long as you maintain the perspective that you are doing for yourself what you feel needs to be done - and finding ways of doing this together - you are going to rid yourself of disappointment, not only because you will get exactly what you are looking for, but because if you don't it will be because you couldn't/didn't do it for yourself. It's much easier to forgive yourself than someone else when you don't get something you want.

I can't speak from the perspective of someone in a relationship that's piecing, but I imagine I would go into piecing now with the same perspective I have now: this process is about learning about myself, improving myself, moving towards fulfilling my potential and purpose. It's not an investment with a return down the line. Not an exercise in delayed gratification - but it is a process by which you live your life closer and closer to personal truth - and there's another doing this with you. Each difficult step you have taken has brought you closer to this state of being. I know there's always some part of you that's looking to get something monumental for your efforts, to have that fantasy relationship really fulfill you, be the happy pill that cures your ills. I think we all look to a relationship to see ourselves mirrored in the other person. I think there is a part of ourselves that wants to see nothing more than ourselves complete and perfect in the eyes of the other. And if only this would make it true.

At some point, when you are both on stable, healthy ground, I think there needs to be open and honest discussion about what your relationship needs to be for you both. Compromises and agreements made. This way everything is out on the table, there are no unspoken expectations to build resentment over. If you're disappointed in your H then, you either have reason to be because of your agreement, or you can recognize that you are looking for something in your relationship that you need to find in your self.

Just my thoughts. Hope you're doing well as I haven't heard from you in a few days.