My Glass is Almost Empty, BI_43 part 2

[cat03]

Sounds lame, but this is HUGE ya'll. I swear. Did H jump up and down and have a parade for me? No. b/c even if he noted the change to himself (which I have no idea), he needs to see this change longterm to feel 'safe' about it, I am sure. But I felt so at peace about the way I was (compared to the old me) tonight, I wanted to take out a full page ad in my paper! Look! I can change! I may bring it up at MC next week if the opportunity presents itself. If not, that's okay too.

Hey girl, so good to see you making such progress. And I'm throwing you a parade!! you deserve it !!

Hon, I so understand your happiness, we could've been twins in our former lives, I could also be a mega b*tch when H messed up and be on him 'til I truly felt he had what he deserved. SAME thing w/the tone of voice, I never really realized how awful I could sound and talk when upset, I did talked down to him, expecting him to say "yes dear".

Hon, you give me so much encouragement to also keep the good attitude for the LONG term, we can do this!

still waiting for H to be secretly longing to get out of the M, etc. It's an underlying fear (sometimes an underlying panic)

With H still not saying ILY (still ML) I also have this fear, that once the debt he incurred when he was away is paid he'll say ciao! and leave. Well, another little demon we need to slay, right?

I'm rooting for you gal, keep up the good work! I also pride myself on not going bonkers when H does stuff that drove up up the walls before and made me complain (leave his huge shoes on the dining area, his art materials every where, leave the bed undone 'til noon when he is the last one to get up, etc)