So sorry, sweetie. This is just so painful. I understand that.
Before you confront H, make sure you calm down first. Also, if he was in MLC, remember that they go back into the tunnel for "revisits" to shut doors, so you have no idea what the flowers actually MEANT....a goodbye of sorts? Who knows what was written on the card. All I am saying is, when you confront him, give him a chance to tell you his side (of course, since they are EXPERTS at lying, who knows), and make up your own mind about how you feel about this.
I know you're trying your BUTT off....and this is tiring. The worst thing you can do now is burn out, b/c right now you DO NOT have a H that will pick up the slack and be strong for both of you.
I know how you mention that it's been tough since H moved back in, going through the depression and withdrawal phases of MLC and perhaps others.
How about scheduling small "breaks" from H during these next months. One of the things you both learned in this whole mess is to value your independence WITHIN the M. That means keeping a little of that "space" alive. It will make sure you're both better when you do start to reconnect as a family....make those times more productive. And, it keeps you from sliding into those old cycles of the old M again.
Can you take off this weekend, and have him watch the kids? Can you take the kids with you? Just a little space. Might even be nice as a gesture after you confront him, if you choose to. If you approach him calmly, hear him out and let him know that you think it might be nice if you both had a little space, to take the pressure off of both. Time to think and reprocess. Nothing dramatic, nothing angry....just done out of peace and respect.
Think about it. I think it would do you a world of good. Even if you get away for the day.
