That’s hard to do. I know that when it comes to asking for sex, I need to be civil, so I try to ask in a non-demanding but straight forward and honest way. She seems best with this approach. I know W does not like it when I get angry and she is trying to do her part keep to control her anger too. But she really is clueless at times concerning men.
I think this example is a case in point and is where some of Dr. Laura comes into play. If I ask politely, it is her responsibility to either accept or turn down my request politely. She needs to be more connected to the fragility of the male ego, just as she is sensitive to women’s issues. Her being rude when turning me down is just mean spirited (and a projection on her part). So I see it being HER who really has to carry the responsibility here. It is my responsibility to maintain proper boundaries and not tolerated this kind of disrespect.
For me to worry about tailoring my requests so that I don’t make her angry is to go back to walking on eggshells. I’ve been there before and will divorce in a heartbeat before going back to those days!
