The dating scene goes well, lots of compatibles out there but finding one in the same frame of mind is trickier than I'd thought. What I mean by that is have gone out with one that was in that frantic "looking for the one and only soulmate" frame of mind and another that must have been expecting fireworks or explosions from the first time her eyes meet Mr. Special. I'm just looking to relax and meet people I could end up liking and having fun along the way. Not looking for the next one or THE one or the right one.
On the subject line, the xw called again and again I caved in, just was nice/pleasant and wasn't blunt with her or to the point that I don't want to be just friends. Realized that it's probably just not in me so have come up with yet another plan. When she calls now, I'll make a gesture like sending her something, a card, a gift, flowers, whatever and thank her for calling/caring and does that mean she wants to give us a try. I figure one of 3 things will happen, either she will stop calling (fine), she will respond in the positive (even finer), or she will ingore whatever I send and still call like she never got anything (possible with her, least desireable response). At this point need to try another tunnel for the cheese and this has a 2 out of 3 chance of working. Thoughts?
One point I could use some advice on that has been a recurruing theme on these boards is a definition for what is "being controlling". Meaning isn't anything we do that affects another's outcome controlling? The only other option is to do nothing and just always go with the flow or be controlled. Don't women see a man that "takes charge" as attractive? But it seems when it suits a WAW or another then the label "you're trying to control me" comes out? What is the difference/where is the line drawn? For example, like sending flowers, you'd think they'd like them and the sender would like a positive response but is that trying to control? or is it just the ultimatums or "orders" thing like "we'll never go out to a bar together"?
OK, enough for now, everyone take care and have fun, RonJon
