fig, I get you and am totally on board. Went through the frantic stage probably last Feb/Mar and after a year and a half since the separation (Sep 05) of allowing myself the time to my own space/no R, am ready to start dating again which in my guy mind, makes me more desireable or at least reaffirms that I'm there. Does that make sense?

So how long has it been for you in your situation? And what are you doing to fill up your space (guess I should just check your thread, lol)? Remember what you mean by when I used to be figity about the breakup and always felt like I had to be doing something to keep my mind off it but that too was many months ago, am comfortable with myself now. Still going through MLC so stressors will come at me now and again but don't worry about things like I used to in the past.

Anyway, have been working out, kept the weight loss from the initial stress out off and am in best shape since high school. Finishing up my Master's degree, in my last class now, which is a new time-hole I'm going to need to fill but do have some books on my list and like to sit out on the beach and read. Recently got a promotion at work so going to back off there too which will open more time holes. Looking now to do some activities with the company of a woman for the two of us and if anything comes out of it with the xw, well then that's just gravy. My primary motivation is to go out, have a good time and a few laughs (trying to uncomplicate my life). would add that I don't really think or care about what xw does on a day to day basis but then I'd sound like I'm too defensive. Thanks for the input, RonJon p.s. Maybe she finally got/read my Dear Jane letter because she stopped calling (so far).

RonJon