Re-read my post and yes, it does sound that way, was not my intent. What I meant to say was I think I'm ready to go out and meet new women, have some fun enjoying myself and hopefully they will too. Its gotta beat staying home or going out with the guys. There is an xw factor in that too but that's not what its all about or even primarily about.
Not looking to latch onto anybody or anybody latching on to me so will still be an independent/alone person but with more social activities going on.
I've asked myself many times about the what if xw left om and started with someone else and despite being in denial alot over the past year, really think I'd be better about things overall. If she gets out and dates more guys she'd have a better perspective of things and yes, would like her to share in what I've learned about independence and I don't mean that in a spiteful way but believe she'd be able to grow as a person as I've done and we'd have shared that experience. Still wouldn't be 100% satisfied about the situation but would be a lot better. And without om the relationship with her kids would be much better and I want that for them, not her.
If you think I've got anger issues now you would not have wanted to know me a couple years ago. The only thing that really gets me angry anymore is the om and the sneaky way he infiltrated an dsplit up my M & family. I'm missing the control part, trying to better myself and don't want to try and control anyone, have not told xw or anyone (except my kids which I have to as a good parent) what to do or how to live their life so where does the control part come in? My dating may include some "see, I can too" "jealous?" but doing what I want, not what I think xw wants or doesn't. I post here mostly when frustrated but the other 99% of my day has nothing to do with xw. All that said, thanks for the insight and please keep it coming, more knowledge only makes me better. RonJon
