JSD, Your post was very similar to what I was going through exactly one year ago. She was nice during the Christmas visit but then later said it was just for the sake of the kids. She filed for D a week later. Letting go is easier said than done which is why I'm here four months after the D went final. xw started with the "want to live a fuller life" bs but is still in her rut while I'm jumping off cliffs and biking down volcanoes now. Her latest phrase she opened up with was "I don't have to ask her forgiveness for not being the man she thought I could be but never reached", apparently she had some secret standard she was unwilling to share with me that I didn't pass. Don't see anywhere in your thread how old you are but statistically if you're over 35, then > 85% of divorces filed by women are in affairs.
Wish I had some good advice for you but everything I tried in the past year has not worked too well as far as I can tell. On the upside statistically, 68% of those couples that divorce and remarry stay married while 68% of those that marry other people will divorce. Kind of interesting I thought. The other thing I've learned is that these things take a long time to dissolve and figure a long time to reconnect if it is to happen. Can't rush anything as much as would like to.
The New Year's plan is to continue to improve on life (may hear it as GAL) go out/date, have fun but not give my heart to anyone. If you are a year behind me you may not be at that point yet and that's OK. Again, don't know how long you have been married, I was 24 years and read that it can take on the average one month for each year. Stay strong and here's to the best for us all. RonJon
