darn computer/web locked up this morning and wouldn't post, good thing I copied; here it is:
Well, she wasn't in my room when I went up and didn't come in during the night. This morning had a setback over coffee & breakfast. We were talking about D19 and her troubles at college and we both had our share of focusing in college and when she mentioned her talk with D19 about not making the same mistakes she did I mentioned that D19 made it sound like xw made it sound like her entire life got off track because of that and in my attempt to get it focused on just the college was a mistake she started crying and saying she had no regrets (which I know she has but was not about to say anything). Anyway to try and change the subject went ahead and said that I had regrets and one was being a d!@k to her and all people for years and that got her off D19 but into how we should have gone to counseling, she just stopped caring, etc. She's up in the shower now.
Man. guess that stuff is still too close to the surface or too recent which I kind of had an idea of but wanted to take advantage of her visit as an in-person opportunity. More emotion than in a long while (good/bad?). Will be backing way off today and just see where she goes from here. Will not ogle at the bathing suit and will try to keep looking good in mine.
Good thing I didn't get my expectations up going into this visit. Ah, who knows whether opening up will improve things or make them worse, we'll see how the day goes and just try to enjoy it like every day. It would just be so much easier if she'd say she's sees I've changed (which she has said) and that D was a mistake and we should try again (which she obviously hasn't said) but she's a rather practical person and probably doesn't see how the logistics could work. That and the thing where when she filed she said ILYBNILWY. Maybe it's a concept I just don't get. Good thing I don't let anything bother me (for too long)anymore.
If nothing else, the gears will be turning in her head and maybe a seed planted that will grow into something over time.
OK, she's out. Need to go. RonJon
Will try to catch up with the rest of the day's activities later if time permits.
