DNO, For me its got to be phone calls, wer're thousands of miles away from each other. Which is probably safest for OM. Most times I don't want to talk because think I might get ticked off and say something I shouldn't or also an immature thing I needed to work through like my talking to her was giving her something she needed when we went through months of that without anything from her. Have learned to forgive and get over that though.
The friend thing is a dillema that is hard to get past. Just friends is not a permanent solution, like you said too much history to go there. I've finally accepted that there can be no reconciliation down the road without going through the friendship step. The key is to approach it from a non-needy position. If I'm OK with knowing it may not work out and either one of us may walk away again then that's all right. The needy thing would be pursuing like if I initiated any calls, e-mails, or letters which I haven't for months and it seems to be working OK. So far have found polite ways to end conversations before they become uncomfortable for me with too many pauses. Never was at my best on the phone. If she gets to the point where she asks "why do I always have to initiate" then maybe we can work something else out.
Got another call from xw on sunday, that made two calls in two days, something would not have thought possible. Granted, she was calling because she heard about the earthqaukes and wanted to see if we were all right but there sounded like genuine concern in her voice. But then again maybe it was just for her two sons here. Guess I'll have to put an asterisk in the record book for this one.
By the way, we are OK, lots of shaking and rocking, worst part was that power was out for over 12 hrs but otherwise pulled through. RonJon
