SpitFire, I'm in the same boat, not legal yet but the wheels are turning. Will probably end up in surviving the big D but if there is a possibility of getting back together, will keep an eye and post on this board also. Same with the friend dilema and being fine by myself, kids have their phones too although only rarely used by STBXW. Guess figuring what I want is the $1M question. Phone does have caller ID and can choose not to answer, haven't answered recent e-mails. I don't know.
JM, Suppose its my nature to analyze, and with the trust broken in the past year, trying to be careful not to walk into anything. As you said, maybe she just wanted to talk and had no motive at all. Do I want to be with her again or not? Another tough question, maybe $64k. Don't think I've detached to the point to where if she said she wanted to try to make things work again I'd say no. On the flip side, do not to be in a perpetual "just friends" limbo. Therein lies the analysis and the title of my thread. Trying to learn from people like you and SF the liklihood of former partners reconnecting and ways it can happen. Understand that freindship is a step towards reconnection but again, not an acceptable endpoint. I've read the "act as if" parts of the book but can't see how that could apply to people that were married 24 yrs to act as if they never met them before. The memories, good and bad, can't be erased. Actions do speak louder than words and her D actions send the message that we need to ba apart for now.
So what I want is to either get back together or go our separate ways, not be caught in-between. When/if she does call again and indicates she wants to move in a together direction, I'll be back here looking for more advice. Otherwise, when I'm ready, will probably be posting on the surviving board. The life of an LBS, does it ever simplify? RonJon
