Moving to this board after a year of separation and just waiting for the paperwork to go through the system. Debating whether to post on this board or the "Surviving the Big D" and as a guy that likes to keep his options going will probably post on both but after what happened today, decide to start here first.
The STBXW called today out of the blue and when I asked her "Whats Up?" (because she only calls when she either wants something or wants to complain about something), she said she just wanted to talk which caught me off guard. I mean we are done, there's nothing more she can get out of the D. Tried to cut the conversation short but she was very persistent a I didn't want to be rude.
It finally came to me what today was, the anniversary of our Wedding. When we met, we were both in the Air Force and overseas with our rotation back to the states not far off so we flew back for a quick City Hall marriage (to get assigned together at the next base) and went back to plan our big church wedding, Aug 14th, '83. Even still, if we are over, why would she call? Now I'm caught in the conundrum of having told her I would not be friends if after a D and I caved already Then I got to thinking, what if this is another test of hers? Should I be nice to just keep the peace? Then think that, heck no, don't be strung along by her. Dang, I don't like to have my head messed with especially when she always seems to win these head games. Perhaps I'm being too analytical about the whole thing, or maybe not enough. How I long for the days when I didn't think about these sorts of things. Then again, not being observant or thinking before doing is probably what put me on this troubled path. Hmmmm....
At this point all I can do is make a plan in case it happens again. Should I just come out and tell her that I don't want to talk to her any more (even though it was pleasant), come up with some excuse to get off the phone, or just go ahead and talk with her? Or other? I'm at a loss, maybe things will be clearer after a drink and a good nights rest. Still can't figure out why she would call after Ding, me, maybe the only thing I can come up with is that she thinks it would make her feel better (i.e. less guilty) about the whole thing if she thinks we're still friends? If so, remaining honest as I have been is the way to go, just tell her again we can't be friends. Sound logical? Any input on my babbling? Thanks, RonJon Links to old threads follow:
