Well I'm still here I might be laying flat on my back trying to catch my breath . . BUT I'M HERE! I'm ready to pick up and move on. But what you Amy and RB and StevieRay . . . must have registered somewhere . . . because I'm ready to wait. It'll be tough . . because I have a feeling things will come to a real head after the support conference on the 11. I thinks that's probably why all this happened this weekend in the first place. But the way I see it is "If he's "man" enough to make these kids . . he damn well should be man enough to take care of them in some way shape or form." Am I right??
So right now I am trying to find a Detached but Not Done point. I detached alright enough that I wanted his truck to blow up with him in it . . . hee hee anywho . . . I'm looking for that line Amy. I'm not done. I'm not letting him off the hook . . I'm not going to give him the chance to play the victim and paint me as bad guy . . which is EXACTLY what he'll try.
Thank God for peace and small miracles.
I'd appreciate any and all advice on how I should go forward from here. Thanks All! Hope you are well.
Way TOO COOL!! We're going to have to keep that link in every thread. Well Kiya has a regular doctors appointment today .. . so hopefully I'll find out how much she weighs now.
Thank you all for sticking with me . . and really kicking me in the a## when I need it.
I have been thinking . . . and the next time my H calls should I tell him I'm moving on . . . make him really face losing me . . . or what should I do. I mean everytime he walks away like he ends up calling at some point. Maybe this time will be different but assuming it isn't what should I do?
MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. THAT DOES NOT INCLUDE HIM AT THIS TIME.
If and when he calls, say hello. Ask how he is if you feel like it. Tell him about the girls, how they are etc... Do not talk about the relationship AT ALL.
If he brings up the relationship, you can feel free to tell him that since he has obviously already made his choice, and since you have decided that you will not allow him to go back and forth any longer, there is nothing to discuss.
Then END the call (say the baby is crying if that's what it takes) saying "Drive safe. I'll talk to you soon". AND HANG UP.
THIS IS DBing and this is YOU standing up for yourself and demanding better treatment because that is what you DESERVE.
Thanks.
I don't bring up the R . . . everytime it gets talked about it's been him.
I usually say things like, "How are you doing." "Are you doing OK?" "Hope you are happy." (NOT Sarcasically either) etc. . . just like you would a friend.
I don't push anything.
I certainly won't. . . I am sort of still hoping that he will just stay gone this time. That's probably wrong and I know it goes against all DBing . . . but it's just the way I feel.
I'm tired of hurting because of him.
Kiya's appointment went well she now weighs 10lbs 4 oz! So she's grown quite a bit since she was born.
She got three shots and wasn't very happy. . .
I do have to run right now though she's starting to wake up and get hungry!
Have a good one guys . . I'll be on later when everyone is in bed
Well nothing to update about my H. Contact is still at zero, maybe he's really done this time even though he never called and told me ANYTHING. That really frustraights me!
So . . . my Dad went to the ER at some point lastnight. He's still there this morning. They are doing an EKG and MRI. I guess he was going to let the dog out and he just collasped in the kitchen. He has 14 or 15 stitches in his lip. Last update I got he was real dizzy and was having trouble staying awake. They still didn't know what had caused it or what was wrong now. But since he has high blood pressure and is over 60 they want to make sure before they send him home.
My family seems to be falling apart at every seam in can find. We must just be sickly. . . . Supposed to be kind of a joke.
So that's what's going on today. I am still trying to find that line Amy . . . I still really feel like just walking away and saying F-U pal . . . hmmmmm . . . . and yet I wish he'd call and let me know what happened. I am REALLY angry at him about TOTALLY missing Felina's b-day. Not a card or a note or ANYTHING. So I'm hoping that I won't have to send her a card with some money in it and her Dad's name tacked to the bottom until she's old enough to just realize he's a shmuck and it's not that he doesn't love her.
I just feel ready to fight him because I will NOT allow him to hurt my girls. I feel like he is gunning for them emotionally. Until he shows them some SHRED of respect he's done . . . . in all books included theirs. When he grows up and can keep a steady feeling . . then I'll allow him in their lives. Until then it'll be too many ups and downs. I'm not allowing that to happen. He's the only thing keeping himself out of their lives . . it has nothing to do with me really. When they get older and get mad at me for keeping their emotion intact I'll completely understand and cross that bridge when it comes. Until then I am looking out for their best interest and as long as he stays on his current "warpath" those interests do not lay with him. This is a branch of the high road I think. . . . maybe not but it feels like it. I am more than willing to let him see them . . . once he gets his head straight . . . which it isn't right now. You all know that.
Am I in the clear here . . or are ya gonna start the yelling?
hee hee
Supposed to be kind of a joke.