I don't understand why it seems that my poor choice in who I married is going to "hunt" me down years from now and cause me pain.
Sure I have issues. . . I've said it more than once . .RB you are the one who threw the mirror at me and told me to look there first. But I don't see the problem in closing out the horrible chapter with my H and starting a new life. No one said I was going to run right out and find a new man to try and dull the pain. If it happens great. But I don't see a point in waiting around on my H. The way I see it . . he made his choice 8 months almost 9 now when he chose to kick me out to be with her. They are all but married now. Living and breathing each other as life now. WHY should I continue to sit in limbo when he's made his decision. I see no point in staying in a loosing battle . . . when I can give up with him and move on. I can have a good life. I can be happy . . . it just means cutting him the hell outta my life. It's not really an option . . .he made the decision . . I am simply surrending to his will. I mean if I REALLY love him it's the best thing I can do. I mean let him go . . let him be happy.
Besides as I have said . . I have no choice. He has changed his number . . . no contact. . . I haven't heard from him since Thursday. He doesn't love me . . . maybe he never did. I don't know . . Maybe I'm confused. . .maybe it'll get clearer. I don't see this as running. I am not TRYING to run from anything. I am TRYING to face the cold hard fact that my marriage is over. the man I loved walked away and found another. He left our children fatherless. . . he left me heartbroken. I am trying to face the facts so I can truly move on with ME and have a normal happy life.
I'll tell you what . . . that doesn't mean being with him. I don't see how you all think that when he's been with her EVERYDAY for the last 8 almost 9 months . . .he's going to end up fighting his way back to me. It's simply NOT going to happen!!!
