Thanks Santhony and Alimari! My fast starts in like 40 minutes . . . something good will come from all of this! I can feel it.
I'd like to give it a shot this weekend. I feel up to the task. I feel ready. I know I am the one who said I wasn't . . . but I tried to take it back from God and I was struggling by myself. I think I am stronge enough. If my H dumps her off and wants to come visit on Sat. I am going to allow him to do so. I mean . . . I think I can be friendly without allowing it to go to far. If I change my mind between now and then . . so be it. But as of right now . . . I feel peaceful and ready.
It's a hard battle and the more I put it off the harder it will become. I feel that I have to face this HEAD ON . . . and now. I feel that now is the time to face my demons and see if I am capable of what I am asking. If I wait there is so much time to doubt, question, and make excuses. I'm tired of the excuses and I'm tired of fighting this.
So . . .we will see what transpires. I am going to continue riding this wave . . until my H makes the next move . . I'm idling saving my engery and preparing for whatever I may have to do.
