He called just a few minutes ago and asked me to do him a favor. So I did. Being the nice me and all. I called him back and let him know what I had found out and he would only say yeah . . OK . . . yeah. . etc. BECAUSE SHE was standing right there.
WHAT BULLSH*T . . I am expected to cram it all down and except the fact . . . and he catters to her?
HELL NO!!! HELL NO! NO WAY! I am furious!
I am sick of him treating me like sh*t sooooooo sick of it. I don't know what I'll do this weekend. I don't know what he'll do this weekend. I'm leaving that decision until tomorrow. I'm fasting tonight with the prayer circle . . and I'm going to see how I feel about it tomorrow AFTER he makes decision as to whether or not he is definately leaving her.
He says he is . . . but we shall see.
I am fed up with the sitch. I'm ready to wash my hands of the whole sh*tting thing . . I mean I tried . . what more can I do? I'm tired of fighting HIS battles. . . I think I'm putting down the sword and walking away. I'm ready to be happy. . . and he just doesn't make me happy.
Maybe I'll change my mind. I think I could stand seeing him . . as long as it was only as the father of my children . . .cause he certainly means zero to me.
It seems cold to say . . . but I don't feel much for him anymore.
I hate the thought of divorce . . . but can't I stand this marriage anymore. I won't file or make any rash moves. . . I don't really know how to tell him I just don't feel it anymore . . . I know how that always made me feel and I still honestly feel that this R deserves EVERYTHING I have . . . The ball is in his court. It's time for him to call the shots AND make the plays.
