Quote: It must be great to ML to someone who thinks of you as an inferior lover.
I will say that for every bad thing he said about me while we were fighting he has said one for her.
I do definately see what you are saying.
I honestly think I'm going to just call off the weekend. I can't do it, I know that.
You can give me all the GREAT reasons not to do it . . and I'll make an excuse why it's OK.
This is where infedelity becomes a problem for me. If I can't be with my own H . . . then I just think "oh, I'll get it somewhere else . . what's the difference? I can't trust not to get something from him anymore than any other guy." I WON'T DO ANYTHING . . . please don't freak out. But this point where I want to ML (and let me tell you no toy can make up for it) and can't get it . . is the point where my brain kicks into finding excuses.
Evil evil flesh I know. When he calls today or tomorrow . . I'm just going to ask him to not come. Maybe on his next two days off in two or three weeks. I do feel bad he hasn't seen Kiya in a month (the lasttime he was here he didn't get to hold her because it was late when he arrived and the morning wasn't good.) OH well . . that's his problem. His mother and sister can wait to see her . . they are only coming because he "needs" a ride I garuntee it.
The closer this weekend gets the tighter the knot in my stomach grow. . . I can't stand it. I was doing so great . . . I just hate him, he puts me in the worst positions.
