Maybe stevieray is right. Visualize how you want to behave around him and do just that! Doesn't mean it will go that way - but if you get a picture in your mind of how you want it to go and how you want to behave - you may have a better chance of acheiveing it.
My recommendation might be to act "as if". Make sure the house is tidy, everything taken care of - basically a outward look that "Emily can do this on her own" (You CAN do it on your own by the way!). If your H approaches you about anything R or M related - do what you need to do, but I would recommend you be in the control seat. You define the boundaries and the terms and be ready to say - "I am not ready to talk about that right now, but will think about what you said...."
You are strong Emily. Please do not let this visit tear you down. This could be the calm before the storm - just be sure you stay calm even if there is a storm. You can do it - we believe in you.
